I've had a great weekend away with some friends (which is actually what I thought I'd blog about tonight - but, God's plan was different...so I'll post that tomorrow now instead). We had a great time of relaxation and forgetting about the "issues" of reality that we all left behind us. You know the usual goal for getting away for a day or two. But as soon as I pulled into the carport...reality was very much there - staring me in the face. I was greeted to today's paper at the back gate - reminding me of what I would be doing later this evening.
It's Sunday night. So, I've spent the evening (since about 8:00 p.m.) doing my "new" Sunday night routine...reading the Help Wanted Section in the Dispatch and searching job boards!! Actually this has become part of my daily routine...Sunday just seems to be the day when the majority of the jobs are posted. Monster.com. Columbusjobs.com. Careerbuilder.com. Craigslist (yes, I was surprised too, but they do have a job posting section - a very nice one I will add!).
Last week I attended a 3 hour seminar for people who are going through a job/career transition - some facing layoffs, some already laid off. A service DE pays for when they place employees back in the job market - a very nice gesture indeed. The facilitator of the seminar informed those of us in attendance, that we should spend 25-35 hours per WEEK, looking for a job. SERIOUS!! It should become a second full-time job!! I could swallow this concept, actually... as I spend most of my days looking for a job, in between scheduling meetings - booking airfare accommodations - planning a morale boosting activity for the office - etc. I find my mind continually thinking about looking for a job, networking, forwarding my resume on and thinking about back-up plans. I have found SEVERAL jobs that are a fit - but I'm waiting for the phone to start ringing...with someone on the other end telling me that they think I could be a fit for the position. Last week I also "applied" for a temporary service - should I need to work as a Temp in between jobs - or in case they come across a fit for a Full-Time permanent position. However, tonight I'm struggling with this job search process. You know the saying..."Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again - and expecting a different result." Well that is the feeling I'm getting with the job search process. I find a position - I submit my resume - I wait - I send a follow-up e-mail - I find a position - I submit my resume - I wait - I send a follow-up e-mail. I do the same steps over and over again - hoping that the result is different. Oh - I hope my end result in this process is not becoming (officially) insane!
However, as I was searching & struggling tonight a song came to mind. Not an unusual chain of events - songs pop in and out of my head continually all day long. Before long I was singing it out-loud, and then the truth/promise in words hit me. Duh, why didn't I think of this a few minutes ago - when the struggling was so bad? When I was in tears, because tonight there didn't seem to be anything that was fitting my resume, and I was questioning God? When I was worried about the future and how my life will be impacted/changed in just two short months? I guess the time of learning the lesson isn't always important - as long as you eventually learn the actual lesson. While I wish I could say I'm feeling 100% better about everything after learning tonight's lesson - I can't. But I can say that it does bring more comfort in knowing that God is trying me, purifying me and molding me into the woman HE wants me to be. And when this trial is over - I will be closer to HIS plan being accomplished in me...I will come forth as gold. Gold is bright, shiny, valuable and desired...a far cry from insane.
"Rejoice in the Lord" (from Patch the Pirate)
God never moves without purpose or plan.
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.
O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.
I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead,
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.
Now I can see testing comes from above,
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.
O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.
Today's Closing Thought:
Equation options I have to determine the final outcome of this trial ...when it's all said and done.
Process + Repeating + End Result = Insane
Tried + Purified + End Result = Gold
I choose the last one!
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