Simple Woman's Daybook...

Outside my window...the sun is shining, signs of Spring are displaying themselves!! I so wish I was out there! :)

I am thinking...about the phone interview that I just had. It's a perfect fit...the commute would be 45+ min. one way (something to consider).

I am thankful for...God's protection. In the last two days I've been reminded of how God protects me, even when I don't realize I'm in danger. A home invasion about 5 streets from me and an apartment fire last night - have caused this realization to be in the front of my mind.

From the kitchen...Meg's Meal Ministry has been busy and will be busy this week. Sunday I provided a meal to a family for my monthly "Thank You" gifts. Later this week, I'll be making dinner for a family while the Mom continues to recover and then a crock-pot of soup (Beef Veggie) for a small dinner at IBC on Friday evening.

I am wearing...a cute purplish sweater, black dress pants, black open-toed shoes and a very stylish necklace - LOVE my outfit today! :)

I'm remembering...Christ's death on the cross, and His Victory over the grave!

I am creating...a shopping list.

I am reading...same as previous weeks - "Single, Not Separate" and my Frazzled Female Bible Study. Purchased two more books...both dealing with Women of the Bible. One is a daily snippet of reading about various women/groups of women - with each day being different. I'll start that one tonight. The other is called "That I May Know Him", and it talks about God's grace to three very different women - Hagar, the woman at the well and Hannah. I'll start this one as soon as I'm done with my "Frazzled Female" study.

I am hearing...the radio, co-workers chatting and the cleaning lady's trash can rolling across the carpet.

Around the house...I'm hoping to work outside some this weekend - to get the house de-winterized. I turned the heat off today!!!

One of my favorite things...free lunches!! :)

On my mind...Ashley. Easter. Search Committee stuff. Amazingly, the job situation hasn't been on my mind much this week...just trusting!

Noticing that...my allergies are really bad this week, especially in the morning.

Praying for...my job situation, the IBC Search Committee.

A verse to share..."For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures." I Corinthians 15:3-4 (NIV)

A Lyric or Two:

"The Great Divide"

Silence
Trying to fathom the distance
Looking out 'cross the canyon carved
By my hands
God is gracious
Sin would still separate us
Were it not for the bridge His grace
Has made us
His love will carry me

There's a bridge to cross the great divide
A way was made to reach the other side
The mercy of the Father, cost His son
His life
His love is deep, His love is wide
There's a cross to bridge the great divide

God is faithful
On my own I'm unable
He found me hopeless, alone and
Sent a Savior
He's provided a path and promised
To guide us
Safely past all the sin that would divide us
His love delivers me

There's a bridge to cross the great divide
A way was made to reach the other side
The mercy of the Father, cost His son
His life
His love is deep, His love is wide
There's a cross to bridge the great divide

The cross that cost my Lord His life
Has given me mine

There's a bridge to cross the great divide
There's a cross to bridge the great divide

There's a bridge to cross the great divide
A way was made to reach the other side
The mercy of the Father, cost His son
His life
His love is deep, His love is wide
There's a cross to bridge the great divide

A few plans for the rest of the week: work, AWANA, Prayer Meeting/Olympians, Small Group, the grocery store, vaca day on Friday :), Good Friday Service and dinner with the gang afterwards, haircut & color, Easter meal prep and Easter.

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Luscious Lemonade Pie...

One of my weekend "To Do" list items was making dinner for the family that would receive this month's (March) "Thank-You" meal (I believe I shared this idea in a previous post). As I was working on the menu - I ran into a minor hick-up. The meal had an Italian flare, and for some reason I was having a hard time coming up with a dessert. The family is not at all picky, and I have core menus/dishes that I use for Meg's Meal Ministry; therefore, this should have been a fairly easy task - but nothing was saying, "that will work!". So I went to the shelves of cookbooks.

The recipe had to meet a few criteria - in addition to going with the theme of the dinner...1) it had to be economically friendly - desserts can get pricey at times; 2) it had to be some what easy from beginning to end - I didn't want to spend my entire afternoon in the kitchen, as I needed to get a couple of other things accomplished; and 3) it had to transport easily. The family would be "picking-up" their dinner at a mutual location, so I wanted to make sure it could transport easily - both from Villa de Megalicious to their home. I soon came across a favorite of mine (both taste and preparation)...Lemonade Pie. It's super easy (only four ingredients - excluding the pie crust), it's rather economical and it transports almost too nicely! It met all the criteria, and lemon is always a nice addition to Italian - or so I think, anyway.

I planned to go to the store Sunday after church, and return home to pre-make the meal for delivery to the "pick-up" location. However, my plans didn't work out exactly as I had originally thought...so I ended up preparing the entire meal at IBC before a couple of meetings. This meant I could possibly have creepers in the kitchen - and I did. When making the dessert, several said (paraphrasing here) "Oh, Mmm, what is that?", "Lemonade Pie!", "Oh that looks very yummy!". And boy are they right - not only does it look and smell yummy...IT IS yummy!!! Even my extremely picky niece (not judging because I'm the same way) loves it!

So I thought I'd share this treasure of deliciousness with each of you. I mean why would I not want to share this lemony goodness with friends! :)

Luscious Lemonade Pie...
1 can frozen lemonade
14 oz can sweetened condensed milk (NOT evaporated milk)
2 (or so) drops of yellow food coloring
8 oz. container of whipped topping
9-inch graham cracker pie crust (Ready-Made or homemade crust - works just the same)

Mix together the lemonade and milk. Add food coloring for a lemony color (fyi - if you desire not use food coloring, your finished product will be a white, milky color...but will taste just the same). Fold in whipped topping, and pour into crust. Refrigerate a few hours or overnight. Enjoy!

(from Gooseberry Patch "The Cozy Home Cookbook")

Alternative Methods of Serving:

• Serve between Vanilla Wafers - to make little Lemonade Sandwich Cookies
• Serve as a dessert dip with graham crackers, graham cracker sticks or vanilla wafers
• Fill individual serving size graham cracker pie crusts

Spring has Sprung...

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade."
~ Charles Dickens

As of last Saturday at approximately 1:32 p.m. - SPRING ARRIVED!!! WOOT, WOOT!!

That means...Winter is OFFICIALLY over and we are closer to consistently warmer (hot!) days!! This past winter was especially hard and very emotionally draining - for several reasons...the news of my job, the death of a friend, temperatures were colder and we had more snow than usual. Cold, gloomy days seemed to be the theme of this winter, more so than usual -both literally and figuratively. So this year, I seem to be rejoicing more so than in the past that Spring has arrived. I'm ready to start anew!!

With the on-set of Spring I thought I'd share some of the things that make me LOVE and enjoy Springtime.

Meg's Top 15 Reason's for Loving Spring (in no particular order):

1. Warm-Cool mornings and evenings, with bright sunny afternoons shoved in the middle.
2. Budding Trees, blooming flowers and chirping birds!!!
3. Flip Flops and open-toed shoes are more permissible!
4. Baseball season starts!! :) Nothing like hearing the ting or crack of a the bat, or watching my favorite #3 at Short-stop!
5. More hours of sunshine - Vitamin D is a good thing, and makes me HAPPY!!
6. Being outside enjoying the beauty of nature.
7. Easter - Remembering Christ's sacrifice and Celebrating His Resurrection!!
8. March Madness - when it's over Spring is in full swing, and while it lasts it's okay if it rains or is cooler...there are hours upon hours of basketball to be watched!
9. My Birthday - both physical and spiritual!!!! (Current Countdown is 57 days!)
10. Having the windows and doors of Villa de Megalicious opened - love the cool breeze!
11. Rain Showers & Thunderstorms! LOVE THUNDERSTORMS!
12. Not having to wear a heavy coat, scarf, gloves and layer upon layer of clothing to stay warm.
13. Ice Cream shops slide open their half windows - "Yes, may I have Mint Chocolate Chip on a sugar cone....please!!"
14. Riding with the sunroof open!
15. Summer is only two flips of the calendar away! :)

Welcome Spring 2010...I know you have great things in store for me!

Simple Woman's Daybook...

Outside my window...is a cool, dark night - you can feel the change of season in the air!

I am thinking...of the different types of candy I'm going to make soon!! Let me explain...for some time now, there have been several candy molds I've wanted to purchase - but I've not take the money to purchase them. Well a co-worker that is moving to Pittsburgh - was going through her collection and found SEVERAL that she wanted to get rid of. When she asked if I'd use them I told her I would, and today she gave me a box overflowing with all sorts of candy molds FREE - and most of them were the ones I've been wanting to purchase! She even threw in three cake pans too!! GOD KNEW!!! I'm ready for Beth to come home, so we can have a candy making day!! :)

I am thankful for...a weekend away with friends!! A raise that will begin on April 1 and will be included in my severance package total - PTL!!!

From the learning rooms...working on a lesson for Olympians (Miracles of Christ series) - Christ calming the sea. Along those same lines - looking at ideas for May (theme Creation!)

From the kitchen...my food contributions to last weekend's trip were a hit. I'll spend some time in the kitchen this weekend, and looking forward to time in my comfort zone!

I am wearing...comfy clothes.

I'm remembering...what it was like to have a pallet expander and braces. Sophia is starting the process next week - and last night we discussed what she will be experiencing...including the not so fun stuff.

I am creating...a list of basic need items Hayden will need in his dorm room, so that I can start stocking up on a few things.

I am going...to have an agenda free weekend, and so looking forward to it!!! First time in SEVERAL weeks! :)

I am reading...same as last week - Single Not Separate, and working on my Frazzled Female Bible Study

I am hoping...to get a few projects crossed of the list this weekend - but nothing too major to interfere with the agenda free weekend.

I am hearing...from a few companies that I've submitted resumes, and I have two interviews on Thursday (10:00 a.m. and 1:30 p.m.)!!

Around the house...still working on the re-organization project.

One of my favorite things...my IBC family - their continual love for me. I can not comprehend (nor do I want to) how people survive life's trials without the love and support of an extended church family.

On my mind...Ashley. Hayden graduating and starting college - it seems to be coming very quick. My job situation.

Noticing that...I'm sleeping a little more this week! :)

Praying for...my job situation, a friend who is going through a rough time, and a friend who is traveling for work.

A verse to share..."But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." Job 23:10 (NIV)

A Lyric or Two:

Refiner’s Fire
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

A few plans for the rest of the week: work, Prayer Meeting, two job interviews, Small Group (I missed it last week), hopefully a Fish Fry on Friday evening, watching the Buckeyes, attending Hayden's scrimmage on Saturday, grocery store.

A picture thought...

A solider I pray for daily. A young man sacrificing his life for my freedoms - freedoms that I sometimes take for granted. May we never forget to thank a solider for their service to our country - no matter our thoughts or beliefs on war.

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

My "New" Sunday Night Routine + A "New" Reminder from God = A "New" Reaction...

I've had a great weekend away with some friends (which is actually what I thought I'd blog about tonight - but, God's plan was different...so I'll post that tomorrow now instead). We had a great time of relaxation and forgetting about the "issues" of reality that we all left behind us. You know the usual goal for getting away for a day or two. But as soon as I pulled into the carport...reality was very much there - staring me in the face. I was greeted to today's paper at the back gate - reminding me of what I would be doing later this evening.

It's Sunday night. So, I've spent the evening (since about 8:00 p.m.) doing my "new" Sunday night routine...reading the Help Wanted Section in the Dispatch and searching job boards!! Actually this has become part of my daily routine...Sunday just seems to be the day when the majority of the jobs are posted. Monster.com. Columbusjobs.com. Careerbuilder.com. Craigslist (yes, I was surprised too, but they do have a job posting section - a very nice one I will add!).

Last week I attended a 3 hour seminar for people who are going through a job/career transition - some facing layoffs, some already laid off. A service DE pays for when they place employees back in the job market - a very nice gesture indeed. The facilitator of the seminar informed those of us in attendance, that we should spend 25-35 hours per WEEK, looking for a job. SERIOUS!! It should become a second full-time job!! I could swallow this concept, actually... as I spend most of my days looking for a job, in between scheduling meetings - booking airfare accommodations - planning a morale boosting activity for the office - etc. I find my mind continually thinking about looking for a job, networking, forwarding my resume on and thinking about back-up plans. I have found SEVERAL jobs that are a fit - but I'm waiting for the phone to start ringing...with someone on the other end telling me that they think I could be a fit for the position. Last week I also "applied" for a temporary service - should I need to work as a Temp in between jobs - or in case they come across a fit for a Full-Time permanent position. However, tonight I'm struggling with this job search process. You know the saying..."Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again - and expecting a different result." Well that is the feeling I'm getting with the job search process. I find a position - I submit my resume - I wait - I send a follow-up e-mail - I find a position - I submit my resume - I wait - I send a follow-up e-mail. I do the same steps over and over again - hoping that the result is different. Oh - I hope my end result in this process is not becoming (officially) insane!

However, as I was searching & struggling tonight a song came to mind. Not an unusual chain of events - songs pop in and out of my head continually all day long. Before long I was singing it out-loud, and then the truth/promise in words hit me. Duh, why didn't I think of this a few minutes ago - when the struggling was so bad? When I was in tears, because tonight there didn't seem to be anything that was fitting my resume, and I was questioning God? When I was worried about the future and how my life will be impacted/changed in just two short months? I guess the time of learning the lesson isn't always important - as long as you eventually learn the actual lesson. While I wish I could say I'm feeling 100% better about everything after learning tonight's lesson - I can't. But I can say that it does bring more comfort in knowing that God is trying me, purifying me and molding me into the woman HE wants me to be. And when this trial is over - I will be closer to HIS plan being accomplished in me...I will come forth as gold. Gold is bright, shiny, valuable and desired...a far cry from insane.

"Rejoice in the Lord" (from Patch the Pirate)
God never moves without purpose or plan.
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead,
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.

Now I can see testing comes from above,
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.


Today's Closing Thought:
Equation options I have to determine the final outcome of this trial ...when it's all said and done.
Process + Repeating + End Result = Insane
Tried + Purified + End Result = Gold

I choose the last one!

Simple Woman's Daybook...

A blogger that I follow, has been posting a weekly Simple Woman's Daybook post for several weeks now, and I enjoy reading her thoughts (well duh - I follow her blog, which essentially are her thoughts on many areas of her life!). For the last couple of weeks, I've considered doing the same - my own Simple Woman's Daybook post...to allow others to get to know more about me.

One of things about me is that I enjoy the simple things in life...lilies, dancing fountains, sunsets, crashing waves, time with family, laughing with friends, etc. In addition, as you know I'm working towards making my life to be simpler - not so hectic and busy. So I thought, what better way to assist in this process, than to force myself to stop and think about some of the simpler things around me and in my life. Not that I'm looking to be Amish simple - just slowing down to appreciate the simpler things in life...my life and to put things into proper perspective.

Below is my first of my weekly Simple Woman's Daybook posts...future posts to come on Tuesday (or that is the goal).

~The Simple Woman's Daybook~
Would you like to linger on the simple things...then join me and many others in taking a little look into the day plans and thoughts of those who are focusing on simplicity...beauty of the 'everyday moments'.
Posted on The Simple Women's Daybook blogspot.

Outside my window...A cool dark night, I can hear cars driving in the distance.

I am thinking...about finding a job, getting everything done in the next couple of days, and what I'm going to wear to work tomorrow.

I am thankful for...32 years ago today, my Dad accepted Christ as his personal Savior. I'm thankful for the strong Christian foundation that both of my parents gave to our family. I'm realizing more and more each day the gift that they gave to us.

From the learning rooms...God is teaching me many things these days - this week it seems to be not getting anxious about God providing.

From the kitchen...I'm making Ranch Mix and getting things together to take with me on my weekend adventure! I'm in charge of dinner on Friday...menu to include Hawaiian Chicken (it needs to start marinating on Thursday), Asparagus (yum!) and grilled potatoes (oh yum!) - and breakfast on Saturday...menu is rather simple, Egg Casserole!

I am wearing...one of my favorite shirts and a pair of jeans.

I'm remembering...that I need to take my planner with me to work tomorrow, to make sure I have my calendar & planner in sync and to determine dates/deadlines for projects. That I need to update my new bank card and account details - thanks to PNC.

I am creating...a list of things that need done over the next few days, and some lists/ideas for future things.

I am going...to Hocking Hills this weekend. I've never been and I'm looking forward to it.

I am reading...Single Not Separate (just started), and working on my Frazzled Female Bible Study

I am hoping... for a fun, relaxing weekend

I am hearing...the Sports portion of the 11 o'clock news. Lots of negative chatter at work.

Around the house... I'm working toward re-organizing things - so I'm making some plans and thinking of ideas of how to make this practical and useful.

One of my favorite things...Girl Scout Cookies - Thin Mints, Samoas and Trefoils (esp. with Hot Tea!)

On my mind...Ashley, my job, loosing weight, and summer ministries.

Noticing that...I'm not getting enough sleep or making healthy food choices - both are affecting me in many ways and need to be changed. I'm not liking the person I am - without a healthy sleep and eating pattern.

Praying for...my job situation, IBC during this time of transition - especially for PR, the Deacons & the Search Committee, Summer ministry options.

A verse to share..."Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34 (NIV)

A Lyric or Two:
Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes and make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you are stronger, stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
t’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

A few plans for the rest of the week: work, grocery, packing, small group and Hocking Hills.

A picture thought...

Two people from different worlds, who met - fell in love - and married. They found Christ - made Him the center of their lives - and their future (and the future of their family) was forever changed. Together they've experienced the best of times and the worst of times. They've impacted the next generations of their heritage by their example of unconditional love and dedication to each other - their family - and most of all their Lord. I'm blessed to call them my parents

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Transparency - Inside the Heart of A Single....

DISCLAIMER: This may be long, and it may seem to be a rambling...but hang with me.

One of the things I appreciate most in people is when they can be transparent. We all have areas in our life we wish we could hide - and at times keeping things hidden is necessary...but when transparency occurs, it allows others to see the real you...the good, the bad, they ugly and the beautiful.

During the last week a chain of events has brought me to the point of where I am at this moment...and while this won't be easy for me (a semi-private person), I've decided that I need to be transparent about a real issue in my life...more than an issue - my situation in life.

Recently, I've been struggling with something - a label that I felt some were giving to me, and it's not a label I've desired or ever wanted to have attached to my name. In recent months and weeks - I've had people make comments to or directed at me, leaving me to think that they saw me as a "Goody-Goody" (GG) and this has bothered me - because that label couldn't be less of the truth. Last week a friend had sensed that something may not be "okay", based on a FB status. So she e-mailed to ask if I was okay. Throughout our e-mail conversation I shared that I was struggling with the thought of others having this perception of me. I'll be honest - at first I was mad at myself for sharing - I don't like to share my struggles, I like to deal with them privately - until I'm ready to let someone else in. But I trust this friend and she was genuinely concerned so I shared. I mean isn't that what friends are for. In a response e-mail my friend was very open - sharing with me her perception on the situation, helping me to see thoughts through her window - as it related to this topic, and confirmed my thoughts about myself to be somewhat true. I so appreciated my friends honestly - but, UGH...I hated the reality. As I told my friend (in yet another follow-up e-mail)...I want others to see me as a good person, and someone that is mature in most areas of my life. But the perception of a GG is one that I find to be "...judgment, and not necessarily a compliment. I HATE the classification of a goody-goody because I find it can be very unattractive or unappealing to others. A goody-goody (generally) gets the reputation of being better than and above others, and not an approachable person. In addition, in a way I'm starting to see this as a HUGE reason as to why I'm single. I know it sounds crazy - but it's true. I've had guys (friends and potential more than friends) tell me "you are too perfect"...ugh, that drives me crazy - I'm NOT perfect, let alone too perfect!!!..." Through these e-mails, my friend encouraged me, that it might help others to see me in a different light - if I was more open to sharing some of the things I struggle with. So that others can see I am human, and that I do have areas where I struggle.

On a different day, but during yet another e-mail conversation with this same friend - my friend asked me some very direct questions about being single...my open thoughts and feelings. Then tonight at small group we cracked the surface of dealing with the elephant in the room - we are all (mostly) single. While I'm certain this wasn't on the small group leader's agenda - as it wasn't directly attached to tonight's topic...I'm certain it was on God's agenda for the evening. During my drive home, my mind took me back to the questions from my friend and how much I wished I could share my heart as openly with my small group as I could with my friend. And then I decided...I need to share this struggle (the biggest struggle that I face), I need to be transparent. Not to help with a perception of what others have - but rather to help others see the heart of a Single...more importantly the heart of this single.

So below are the questions of my friend, and my honest responses. These are my thoughts - keep in mind they may not be the thoughts of other singles. These are my human responses - and they may not be the "correct" response that some Christians think I should have. But I'm being honest - and honest isn't always what others perceive as the correct response. Please do not have pity on me or my responses - that is not my purpose for sharing.

Q. What does it feel like?
A. It's truly a bag of mixed emotions, depending on the day, the circumstance, the hour. It's like most situations in life you take it one day at a time - only I do it alone (yes I have family and friends, but ultimately I'm alone). Most days I'm okay with being Single - and others not so much. It's taken me a long time to get to the point of being okay with it. It truly wasn't until after I was 30 that I really started to come to terms with it. Generally speaking, I'm content being single (though I hope I'm not here forever) - I have to be...if I'm not content with what I have, God won't give me more. In addition, discontent is a sin. With that being said - there are days when I'm severely lonely and at times even numb I'm so lonely - I go through my routine, trying not to think about how much I long to be married. Not every day - but occasionally. Holidays are hard for me - especially Mother's Day - I so want to be a Mom. Then there are days when I'm fine with it being just myself...I can sleep in, I only have to get me ready, I can leave at 9:00 in the morning and come home at 11:00 at night - and only have my schedule to contend with...and I like that freedom. I must admit that evening/night time is hard for me - hence, filling my nights with something to do...although in the last year, I'm realizing that quality time at home
is SUPER nice and healthy. Going to bed alone makes me sad most nights - and not just for the physical reasons...but being single is much more real to me at that time. Sometimes when I watch TV and there is something funny, I laugh out loud and I wish I had someone there to laugh with or when I'm in a restaurant I wish I had someone to talk to about their day, and not just read a book or people watch. But I also enjoy the freedom that I can eat cereal for dinner if I want - I get to make the menu for myself and what I like. I like only having my schedule to worry about - but deep down I really do wish I had another schedule to consider. I have full control of the remote control, the volume of the radio, the position of the seat in my car, the entire bed to myself - which means there is only half a bed to make, all the ice cream is mine and I have tons of closet space. But I'd give it ALL up in a breath to feel the love of a husband and to have his companionship - to have someone to hold me in their arms in the morning and someone to kiss me goodnight, and to experience every moment in between - the good, bad, ugly, boring, ordinary, icky, hard, happy, sad moments of life. Currently (as I've shared before), I'm really having a hard time with the future job looming above. I know God will provide and I'm relying on Him. But the human part of me naturally has concerns and worry, as I wait. There are times in the middle of the night I wake up (or I can't sleep) and I want to talk about how it's going to work out, to come up with a back-up plan to the back-up plan, to have someone reassure me it's going to be okay - that it will all work out and to just experience this hurdle together. It's a lot of stress knowing that the bills to run my household are paid only by myself - and the thought of not having an income scares me. Satan knows me, what scares me and it's him who is making me worry and not have full rest.

Then there are just the every day things that drive me crazy about being single...for example I currently need my garbage disposal replaced (and have need it replaced since August) but the fact that I'm mechanically challenged, means when something breaks I have to rely on someone else to fix it - relying on their schedule. Going to the grocery store and not being able to finish eating or drinking something before it goes bad - items aren't packaged at the stores with Singles in mind! Then I feel like I'm not being a good steward of my money because I didn't finish the entire 1/2 gallon of milk or because I couldn't eat another night of leftovers so I threw something away. UGH - that drives me bonkers. But there are every day things that I can do - I can clean according to my standards and preferences, I can fold clothes to my standards and preference. I can cook food to my liking. I can even park at an angle in the carport, and no one can complain that I did't leave enough room.

The other main thing I wrestle with is becoming concerned only about me and how I want things done. When it's just my schedule or the menu is made to my liking - it's easy to get the "world revolves around me" attitude. So I'm trying to be more aware of this and I try to do things that don't cultivate that attitude or approach. I don't want to be old and single.

Lastly, There are times when those around me (speaking of married people here) say things or do things that make me feel so abnormal for being single, and those times hurt. It hurts a lot - at those times I really struggle. I mean who wants to abnormal? But I've learned that they don't understand, and that they just don't get it. So how can I expect any less of them or allow my feelings to be so hurt. I mean - I'm sure there are things that I say or do that could hurt a wife or a mother - and I don't even realize the hurt I've caused.

Being Single has perks, but it's also very hard in many aspects. But I try hard to not dwell on the hard, that would be bad for me on many levels.

Q. Do you feel disappointed?
A. Again it depends on the day. But I'm really learning (in the last few years) to deal with it. But honestly, I'd have to say yes. For as long as I can remember I dreamed of being married, having a house full of children (I always wanted at least 5) and living in the country. I love working, but I could easily be the stay-at-home Mom and being involved in all aspects of being a wife/mom. There were other ministries in the church where I wanted to be involved - one of them was to lead a mixed group of ladies Bible Study (I can't now because I can't relate to being a wife/mother). All of that was my dream for many years. I still have the dream - of being a wife and mom (and ministering), but the reality of it not being exactly as I thought it was going to be is very real too. You know like - not having 5+ children. So yes, it's disappointing. But I try to fill in those gaps - being an active involved part of my niece and nephews life, planning things, being involved in various ministries - especially those that allow me to work with kids/teens. It doesn't take the void away completely...but it helps.

I'm also disappointed for my Mom. I know that sounds silly - but I am. My mom so badly wants to have her children married with children - not because it's the correct thing in society's eyes...but so that we can know and experience what love truly is. It makes me sad that none of her daughters are married (or still married). Plus I want to be able to experience these things with my Mom. I just want her to be able to experience the other things that women her age have, and to not have to worry about us so much. As if a mother ever stops worrying.

Q. Do I feel let down by God?
A. Let down - No. Forgotten -YES!! Hurt - At times! I just wonder why this is God's plan? What have I done/not done to not deserve a husband/family? Why does he allow me to continue to have these desires, and yet He doesn't complete them? Again, I know the right answers here - God has a plan. God has a purpose of why. But those things don't always - actually never - make the hurt feel better. I see others getting what I so long for, and yet I continue to ask - and the answer is not right now. So again, I try to make the best of the situation and I just pray that I'm allowing God to use my singleness for His good. I can't wait until I "have" or get" to be involved in ministry or ministering. I admire the story and person of Ruth, and I try to pattern my life after her...God used her in her singleness and one day as a wife - I mean this was the line of which Christ came from. But no - I don't feel let down...just forgotten.

As with any status in life...Singleness isn't only doom and gloom, but it's also not sunshine and rainbows. My hope is that this blog has allowed you to see a small glimpse into the heart of me - a single girl...

Harmonious Match...

Dating has evolved through the years - as is the normal progression with most things. I mean trust me when I say, I'm so glad that pre-arranged marriages are no longer a common practice!! :) During my parents' generation a guy would ask a girl to go to the drive-in, local dance or football game, and dinner at the local diner. During my brother's generation (who is 8 years older than I) a guy would ask a girl to go to the Putt-Putt and then dinner at Pizza Hut. When I was in high school (16+ years ago) a guy would ask a girl to go______.... well I don't know. I didn't have one date in high school until the Senior Prom, and all of those details were worked out! :) But I'm sure it was something similar...a guy asked a girl to go out and do something that was hip (or should i say fly - a 90's term) to the early to mid 90's culture.

Of course all of this was before the Internet...when communication occurred in person, through a note passed during class, or on a phone, that being the family phone - not one that takes pictures or sends messages. You met people at school (high school or college), through friends, at church (or church events - camp, retreats, etc.) or by walking around Westland Mall for umpteen hours. Then one day it changed - enter the late 1990's and along comes a very resourceful resource...the Internet. The Internet brought Encyclopedia Britannica, plus much more, to your finger tips. You could travel to another city (even country) in about a 1.5 min. (back then it was dial-up, highspeed was a few years away) - and watch someone get married in Las Vegas via the Chapel of Love web cam. Today every ounce of information you could ever want/need to know about ANYthing, can be found on the Internet - truth, fiction or a combination of the two. Including a date with your future mate. You can now meet someone living just miles, streets, maybe even front yards away from your home - and you don't have to walk out the door. Yeah, I know great way to work on your social skills!!

As those who follow know - I'm single and 30+, which to some (mainly to those in the Christian sphere) makes me a rare demographic. I don't consider it completely rare - just medium rare, again especially when going outside of the Christian sphere. More and more single is a common (and accepted) status. Men and women are finishing their education, starting jobs to get established, building friendships and enjoying the freedoms of being an adult - before settling down to marriage and children...and the responsibilities that come with both blessings. In addition (and what I consider the main factor), because of our culture and the acceptance of all lifestyles - many (not all - and count me in the not all group) singles are enjoying the "benefits" of marriage without the commitment of marriage. Sex (however you define it), living together and children outside of marriage. Therefore, making it "unnecessary" to get married as a late teen or very early young adult - as was the case with the generations I mentioned above. Kind of like the old saying "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?". However the medium rare part falls when you are single and 30+...usually by the mid to late 20's young adults are starting to realize they are ready for a spouse, children, and similar responsibilities. Not many are 30+ and single (especially men) - making the "line-up" of potential mates that you meet at work...church...shoot even at the grocery store fewer and fewer. In addition, sadly this culture we live in is one of instant gratification and one where they like to know all their "options" before making a selection. They want to know all they can about each option before making a choice - without making any form of connection, let alone a commitment. And there you have it - the concept to the "new" (but not really so new) fad of Internet dating. View your options, learn more and see if they meet your ideal.

Companies like e-Harmony and Match.com have advertisements all over the television, Internet, radio stations, etc. Telling people of all ages (18+) and marital statuses that they can be the solution to help with taking a state of singleness to a state of matrimony. Tell the provider about yourself, what you are looking for and leave the "hard" work to them. And yes, I'll be honest, I've fallen for their ploy and I've given the two providers mentioned above a try.

For those who've never done such a task - let tell you a little about it...

From their home page you create a user name (which can be your actual name or a name you create - I say use something creative) and password - this is not an unusual process when registering for anything on-line. Next, you are prompted to create a profile of yourself telling things like your city, age, marital status, ethnicity, height and weight (yeah right - like I'd ever tell someone that, my doctor is lucky to know this detail!), interests, religion, salary (again, not something I share freely), drinking and smoking habits, and the list goes on. You then create a profile of your "ideal" mate - answering similar questions. You give brief answers to questions like...tell us the last book you read, your occupation (never say where you work), your favorite hot spots or destinations, your religion, your interests/hobbies, etc. Then you get to post one, two or several pictures of yourself, your pets, your last vacation - whatever you want. Thankfully all content written and pictures are reviewed by the provider before they are actually posted - to make sure that they are appropriate and not distasteful. After you've entered all those details you can search (with the exception of e-Harmony) for hours to find your date and/or future mate. Searching is usually free - so search to your heart's content. You can search for people only in certain ages ranges, certain cities, within "x" number of miles from you, by ethnicity, religion and a combination of other specific categories. You can allow the provider to search their list of members to find people who are looking for someone like you and vice versa. You can search only by those who have pictures. Each day you can log on and find a group of new matches that you might be interested in. The search capability goes on and on. It can be very overwhelming - especially at first. But here is where the provider gets you - search all day and night if you want. But if you find someone and you want to communicate with them, which initially will be an e-mail sent via their e-mail system...communicating for free - well not so much. As with most things in life - there is a fee. And a potential costly fee at that - I'm talking like into the several hundreds of dollars with an automatic renewal at the end of your subscription....unless YOU personally go in and stop your subscription (be warned!). Of course the more you pay the longer your service. So I know you are asking...well have you ever paid? Yes, I've paid the fee - but being the cheap person that I am - only when they are running a promotional - like 3 months for the price of 1 month, and then after 3 months I've cancelled my subscription! E-Harmony has you answer TONS of questions and reaction questions. Then they search their "database" of people to find your "true" match. They then e-mail you potential matches. This process occurs until you completely disable your "account" with them. The research and e-mailing you parts are free...again its the communication part and beyond that has the fee. With both providers, if you find someone, you become comfortable with them you can meet - thus begins the non-virtual (actually traditional) dating process.

Through my adult single years people have made all kinds of comments about me being single (still working on the "things you don't say to a single person" blog) - comments like..."Why aren't you married?". "Don't you want to get married?". "You do realize that you aren't getting any younger,correct?". "Where is your husband? (see if I knew that answer I wouldn't be SINGLE!!! HELLO!!). "You should cook for some of these guys (as if there is a line out the door) and maybe they would marry you." - as if I've not tried this approach! Some what related to the previous comment..."how can someone that cooks like you still be single?" (yeah, that one I just looked at them and walked away). And of course the the one that prompted today's post..."Well have you ever tried the Internet?". So, there you have it inquiring minds who want to know - I've tried it and for those who are really curious - yes I've tried it more than once, more than twice!! Obviously, I've had no positive result to Internet dating. I have a standards of the person I want to marry - some standards are flexible, while others are not and one that is not is being a Christian. Very few Christians use this source of dating...especially since very few Christians (men especially, again) wait until after 30 to get married. I've found it difficult to met someone this way. I'm not saying this doesn't work - I know a few couples where this method has worked, they are happily married and have been for years. I'm just saying...I've tried it and it didn't work! Will I return to try again...probably not, but never say never.

So if you are single who has never tried this approach - I can say give it a chance. It will be a good exercise to see who and what you are looking for in a mate, and you will learn a few things about yourself as well. Outside of making a list of what I desire in a mate - this process has been very beneficial and eye opening to me. In addition, to finding a handful of potential mates - I will guarantee you MANY laughs. I've had many laughs through this process...it's amazing what people will say about themselves to draw your attention, and what kinds of pictures they will post - WOW!! But let me share some advise: be smart and use common sense - from selecting your user name, to answering questions for your profile, to communicating with potential dates and all the way to how much money you are going to spend. Be just as smart, if not more than, as you would if you were actually meeting someone in person and getting to know them outside of the vitural world. NEVER give out your address, employer's name, phone number, and maybe even establish a separate e-mail account for contact - nothing personal until you know and are comfortable with someone. If you meet someone - same rules apply - BE SMART...only meet them in public places, never at your house, place of employment or in a secluded area. No one is looking out for you - except for you...so BE SMART!! Be prepared that these services will fill-up your e-mail inbox with all kinds stuff - and not just limited to sending you matches, again another reason for having a separate e-mail account. And lastly, if you try it...best of wishes to you, maybe you will find your Harmonious Match!!!

Generalities...

Well I've not blogged in a few days - okay it's been over a week. Life has been busy, and I've not taken the time to blog. Mainly because I've been working to complete a few projects that I've been putting off - taxes are filed, hair is cut, a revised schedule for Spring T.E.A.C.H. Team created...printed...and distributed, I've started working on a few lists I've been wanting to create, and I've started doing some research on Advent (something I've never celebrated before, but something I want to incorporate into my life this year) and how as a Single I can celebrate - I must say I'm really excited about some ideas that I have. Generally speaking things are really status quo these days - and I've not had much to share about. As you can see tasks are fairly normal everyday tasks. But I thought maybe a general update on a few areas of my life might be in order.

Ah...can you tell that I really want to blog, but can't find anything blog worthy...?

• "The Frazzled Female"...I started the study a week late, ugh. But I'm almost through week #1 and I'm enjoying the new study. Blog about my first week to come early next week. I'm enjoying sitting at Christ's feet, just listening...more clarification in next week's "The Frazzled Female" post.

• Job Update...work has been okay. The morale is very low and it makes going to the office almost dreadful by the end of the week. But I continue to find it a blessing that I have a job - and try to keep things into perspective of what others around me are experiencing. Our first "person out the door" will occur next Thursday. Reality is starting to sit in and with the start of March, I've realized that the end really is just around the corner. I continue to make the best of it - and I'm daily searching for projects to fill my days. Projects seem to come in waves - and this week the tide has been low, rather non-existent. Hoping next week is better.

• Potential Employment...is still being sought after - DAILY! I did hear from one of the companies I interviewed with - and while the company reached out to me two different times about the same position, somehow my name wasn't passed along as a candidate - even though I was told that I was one of their top candidates during the phone interview process. At first, I was a little miffed about the situation...then I realized that God was closing the door to that option - thankfully, that was the theme of Sunday's sermon and the message was fresh in my mind. GOD KNEW!!! My rare, once in blue moon position provided no contact from the employer - but I was able to track my status...only to find "Not Selected". Again, just another confirmation that God closed that door. There are two companies that I've interviewed with and I've not heard back from...continuing to think that "no news is good news". I'll follow-up with a phone call early next week, if nothing comes tomorrow. I have found a few positions that would be a great fit for me - so of course, I've submitted my resume.

• My schedule...with the onset of Spring, my calendar is starting to fill up quickly. I'll spend a good portion of my weekends in March and April, living out of a suitcase. This Spring holds an out-of-town family wedding and related events, a few quick weekend trips away, and a trip to Virgina Beach with 24 High School students. Throw in a slue of baseball games, Easter, Mother's Day, birthdays (including mine!!), IBC commitments, getting Villa de Megalicious ready for warmer weather (plant flowers, clean gutters, etc.), and various other events/obligations - I have more days with something to do, than those that are empty. But I enjoy being busy - I just need to make sure I'm staying focused and planning ahead, so that I don't become overwhelmed. I also need to continue to remember to say "no" - when it really isn't possible to attend, assist, etc.

• Meg's Meal Ministry...continues to bless (hopefully) some at IBC. I've not yet (in 2010) reached beyond IBC, but I'm definitely open to the idea and looking for opportunities to minister to family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. I'm also starting to make a list of some who I'd like to thank for their interest and/or impact in my life - as a way to say "Thank You". With the hopes (as long as finances permit) to give "thank you" meals once a month through March of next year. I have a lifelong friend that has a lot on her plate, so much so that our communication has become limited in recent months - I'd love to take dinner to her to ease her load. Pray that I might be able to make a connection with her soon.

That's enough for now...I won't overload you with all the details of my life. I mean if I did that in one blog - I'd have no reason to blog again later.

Some topics I'm working to blog about in the near future..."Say "NO" and own it..." and "The Adventures of Internet Dating...".