2010 - Whew, I made it threw!...

WOW! Another year has come, and is almost gone. I can't believe it's almost over, yet on the other hand I can't believe it's taken this long to get here!

2010 has been one of the hardest years I've ever had...yet I've learned more about myself, others and God this year. It's been filled with some pretty deep lows and some pretty big highs - and lots of middle of the road stuff.

In this last year I've found myself on my knees begging God to heal a sick friend, pleading for a job, weeping to provide comfort to my lonely heart and urging for understanding in situations that I don't understand. I've gained a prayer partner, new family members, friendships and a new job. God has used my meal ministry to feed many through various ways, and my administrative/organizations skills to lead a ministry I never thought I'd have the honor of leading. God has given and He has taken away. God provided protection during the unusually snowy winter and allowed Ohioans a beautiful Spring, Summer, Fall and even an Indian Summer. But in all of 2010 I've found it to be true that God has remained faithful, even when I wavered. He's provided strength in my weakness. And it's only because of Him that I was able to face everyday this year.

Enjoy a re-cap of some of the highlights, and dimmed lamps of my year...

January ~

• The Ohio State Football Buckeyes provided us with a win in the Granddaddy of them all the Rose Bowl. Beating the Oregon Ducks 26 to 17.
• A "new" ministry began at IBC - on that I had prayed for for a long time. A Small Group started on Thursday evenings for young adults...and I've enjoyed attending and getting to know some fellow brothers and sisters in Christ; although I'm not really that young anymore - or at least not as young as many of them.
• I found out that Ashley was pregnant and that the end of Summer would take me in to my next phase of life...being a Great Aunt!
• I found out that my job would be transferred to Pittsburgh at the end of May. I had to decided whether to move or quit my position...within two weeks. I decided to stay in C-bus, and to work until the office closed or I found another position...which ever came first.
• IBC Commissioned and sent Kristie to Romania - what a joy it was to watch this young woman follow the Lord's leading...what a blessing to have ministered to and with her!

February ~

• I had to say my temporary good-bye to my sweet friend, Penny. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I miss her so much.
• Our Small Group was able to minister to IBC and the MRC. The guys did some minor repairs around the building, while the ladies made no-sew blankets for MRC clients.

March ~

• Jenni, Kari and I took a chartered bus trip that we will never forget. Wendy's Mom and brother, Tom, joined us. It was interesting to say the least.
• I again was able to volunteer at the Children's Hospital Heme Weekend @ Deer Creek.
• Tim, Lisa, Ryan, Jenni and I spent a beautiful weekend in Hocking Hills - lots of fun!!
• I had "coffee" (okay we both had Hot Chocolate!) with someone I knew in High School - yet we'd never really met or knew each. It's been great getting to know her, and to minister/worship with she and her family @ IBC.

April ~

• I was blessed to hear Ken Rudolph speak again...at the Good Friday service.
• My cousin Tony got married to his long-time girlfriend, Ashley. Ashley has felt like family for a long time, but it is wonderful to officially have her as a member!
• Our family again participated in the MS Walk! We walk in hopes of finding a cure for everyone with MS - but especially Wendy & Clyde!
• It's (another) Girl! Ashley found out her bundle of joy was a girl!
• Sophia started the process of getting braces!
• I saw Tim McGraw in concert with Jenni, Kari & Lisa!
• I was again able to chaperon the West High Ensemble trip to Virginia Beach. It was a beautiful weekend! I LOVE the Beach!! I LOVE the kids!!

May ~

• Ayana turned 5!
• After several months of searching, many hours of meeting and countless hours of reading resumes. The IBC Search Committee narrowed the candidates to four! We met all four, interviewed them and their wives - I had the joy of cooking for two of the four meals!
• Hayden played his last official High School baseball game and was crowned Prom King all in the same week. He later played in the City League All Star Game.
• I found out I was going to be the Director of IBC's VBS - to be held on June 27...YIKES!
• I turned 34 - one year from my scary age!
• I ended my chapter as an employee of Direct Energy - and said goodbye to many co-workers and friends.

June ~

• I had a phone interview with Huntington Bank (this was just one of many interviews I had had over the 5 months of searching)
• The Search Committee decided on our candidate and presented him to the Deacon's...Pastor Brad Rickard.
• Due to my unemployment I was able to volunteer at Westgate's Field Day - what a super treat!
• Hayden became the second graduate of the third generation from West High School, where he read "The Road Less Traveled" by Robert Frost.
• I had a face to face interview with Josh Eichenhorn and Andy Keusal at Huntington Bank
• Beth came home! I'm so glad December 2011 holds another visit of my non-Asian friend who lives in Asia!
• I spent my days of unemployment looking for additional opportunities, enjoying the start of summer break with the nieces and nephews, and planning/preparing VBS details/materials.
• I was offered and accepted a job at Huntington Bank in their Commercial Credit Department supporting the EVP - Commercial Credit Sr. Loan Approval Officer and the VP - Training and Development.
• I directed VBS at IBC, and started my new job the day after VBS started!
• Hayden turned 18!

July ~

• I began commuting via COTA!
• I traveled to Troy, MI for training...it was my first trip to the state up North!
• Ashley graduated from Cosmetology school!
• Pastor Brad Rickard candidated, was called and accepted the call to be Sr. Pastor at IBC! PRAISE THE LORD!
• Kari & the kids had a wonderful week at Family Camp and Emily had another great week at TLC!
• I enjoyed the Ladies Summer Bible/Book Study on Sunday evenings!

August ~

• Emily made the Varsity Volleyball team.
• Elijah began his first season of football, while Sophia and Ayana enjoyed their first season of Cheering.
• Our Small Group "hosted" the IBC Picnic - Brunch version! While I did very little in terms of planning...it seemed to be enjoyed by many!
• IBC voted to move AWANA to Wednesday evenings and eliminate youth for grades K-6...it was a rather big deal - but shockingly had very little discussion at the time of the meeting!
• I "returned" as a Youth Leader for IBC's IT group!
• Ayana entered Kindergarten - the sixth in the second generation to attend Westgate.
• Hayden moved into the dorms and began his college career at Capital University.
• Ashley delivered a beautiful little girl...Gabriella Rose!

September ~

• I enjoyed a weekend of camping with friends!
• Ohio State beat Miami!
• Pastor Brad began his time at IBC!
• I began meeting with my prayer partner...what an encouragement!
• I began my second year of WHS Athletic Booster Special Events Coordinator.
• Tim & Lisa were engaged!! I'm enjoying helping them coordinate!

October ~

• Was the most difficult month as I suffered greatly with the singleness issue.
• Ashley passed her State Boards!
• Dad's health really started to decline.
• I enjoyed a weekend in VanOrder Land bonding with some girlfriends, and meeting a new acquaintance. I look forward to getting to know her more in 2011 - when she moves to C-bus!
• I ventured out of my norm - and went to a Girl's Night Out with people I really didn't know. It was a ceramics painting party at a place (ironically) called "Outside the Lines". I'm looking forward to the next one on January 7.
• IBC tragically and quickly lost one of it's most faithful servants - Al Webster
• The annual Thornton Harvest Party @ Jenni's was another highlight to the Fall season.
• Terry (the kids Dad) was in a tragic and sever car accident - that has changed all of our lives forever.
• The AGDO (Annual Girls' Day Out) with all the Thornton women + Grandma Rosie (Wendy's Mom) involved Apple Picking and lunch at the Nutcracker in Pataskla. Katrina joined us this year - as did Chrissy & Livi!

November ~

• The Republicans had huge wins in Ohio and all across the USA on Election Day.
• I enjoyed my first ever Veteran's Day off at the movies - alone! A tradition I think I'll keep!
• I enjoyed a day with my Mom at the Outlet Malls...we love to shop!
• Hayden decided to switch to Ohio Dominican beginning Winter Semester, 2011.
• I held and comforted my niece, as she sat heartbroken and sobbing in my front seat - telling me that her boyfriend had just moments before broken-up with her.
• I coordinated the kitchen portion of the Thanksgiving Eve Fest @ IBC...little did I know the blessing I would receive, from such a little meal. At 8:00 p.m. - one of the girls (approx. 5 yrs old) prayed to thank God and said that was the first thing she had to eat ALL DAY - and as she was literally shoveling it in my heart broke for her.
• Jenni and I braved the Pre-Black Friday mania and stood outside Toys 'R Us for two hours in the pouring rain on Thanksgiving night, and then conquered Black Friday. The deals were so worth it and we saved so much. But the time, laughter and memories made with my sister were priceless. I believe this too is going to be a tradition.
• For the 7th year in a ROW Ohio State defeated the Michigan Wolverines.

December ~

• We "brought back" our tradition of baking Christmas cookies at IBC, per the request of Emily & Kari. It wasn't the 1900+ as in years past, but we still had a lot and enjoyed spending the day together.
• Ashley turned 21!
• The IBC Dinner Theater & WHS Ensemble performance are always a highlight to me.
• The Thornton Family sorted the Christmas Cards at IBC for the 24th year in a row!
• The Annual Thornton Sister's Shopping Adventure was just that...an adventure! But we were productive and found some super deals!
• Katrina heard the Christmas story for the first time - EVER!
• Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were both spent with family, and lots of love was demonstrated. But our focus was the true meaning of Christmas - Christ's Birth!
• I was able to cross an item off of my Bucket List - attending a Harlem Globetrotter's game.

So there it is...2010 through my eyes and experiences...whew, I made it threw! Looking forward to 2011, and all it has in store!

"God Never Gives You More Than You Can Handle..."

A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with a friend. Who challenged a very common and "favorite" saying within the Christian circle...and it's stuck with me. I've mulled it over and over in my mind, and I think my friend is correct.

This friend and I, also are prayer partners and we meet monthly to encourage each other and to find out how we can be praying more for the other...and since we both enjoy eating this meeting usually takes place at a food establishment! However, I knew this month's meeting was going to be different than most months - where lots of laughter is also involved. You see my friend has had a very rough year - and even more so as year comes a close. Two extremely special people in her life have faced various illnesses and one of which was diagnosed with cancer, the week after Thanksgiving - with the news that treatments or surgery are not an option and that her time (in the opinion of the doctors) left on this earth is 3-6 months...with 6 months being generous. So I knew that when we met, I needed to have a heart of compassion, ears ready to listen, words that would encourage and an extra package of Kleenex...I knew there was no way to hold back the tears. We selected our meeting time and location, and all day long I was greatly anticipating our time together. I had prayed that God would use me to be the encourager - as usually my friend is the one who leaves me so encouraged. We both arrived, quickly ordered and the conversation went instantly to her...how was she doing? how were those she was caring for doing? how are your children handling this? I mean the questions were just flooding the booth we were sitting in...I wanted to know exactly how I could pray for my friend and her family. When I asked how she was doing she said, "I'm tired of people telling me that God never gives us more that we can handle." Um okay - that's not what I was expecting, but we'll go with that. "What do you mean?" I asked somewhat confused. "People tell us this, but that doesn't make any sense. If God never gives us more than we can handle...then that means we are able to live life without having Him involved. If we can handle it, we never get to see God working. And I want you to know that it's only God who is handling this situation - because if it were up to me, I would fail, I would have failed. There is no way I could handle this on my own." WOW - her thoughts stopped me cold, and the truth of her words pierced my mind. Its so true! As humans we want to rely on God, yet we also want to see how long we can go without allowing him to come along side or take over the situation. And this very innocent, saying has it all wrong. A saying I've used before to encourage/comfort myself and others - takes all the focus off of God's abilities and puts them back on us...mere humans. Instead of focusing on the fact that we need God! We need to see God working, especially in those situations where it humanly seems impossible for us to get through...like the one my friend is facing. We need to allow God to be working, especially in those situations where it humanly seems impossible for us to carry out the task.

Once again it was my friend left me encouraged, and challenged my thinking!

God never gives you more than you can handle...because it's Him who is handling, not you!

"She said, "Yes..."

As the Christmas season is quickly coming to an end I wanted to share a thought I've been pondering...about Mary, the Mother of Jesus.

Mary a simple, humble TEENAGER who was engaged to be married. Can you imagine her excitement about the thoughts of getting married. I mean I've never been engaged...but I'm telling you what I would be so SUPER excited...cartwheels would often be performed. In the Jewish religion (of which she belonged) - it was not uncommon for teenage girls to get married. I mean if a boy became a man at 13, they would need someone to marry that was of like age. Therefore, I have to believe that teenagers of that day had much more responsibility, training and preparation at living a life that today we would consider to be a life lived by an adult...with the responsibilities of a marriage, children and a home all before your 21 - what we today consider a full fledged adult.

But imagine how Mary must have felt the night the Angel came to her to tell her that she had been chosen by God to carry HIS son inside her womb, to give birth (which also means to give life to) HIS son and to raise HIS son - yet she'd never been with a man and the child she would give birth to would not be the son of the man she was to marry. I'm sure her was full of a potpourri of emotions. Fear. Humbleness. Confusion. Excitement. Honor. Anger. Joy. The Bible doesn't tell us about her emotions - but let's not forget that Mary was human - just as you and I. So I can't help but believe that in that moment and days weeks to come, she didn't have a million emotions filling her mind and body. I mean have you ever experienced the emotions of a pregnant woman. Again I've never been pregnant - but I've been around enough women who have been to know that their overly emotional. So let's not forget that Mary was human - just because she was carrying Jesus - doesn't mean she didn't have the normal experiences, side-effects of pregnancy. But yet the Bible never tells us that she ever told the angel "No." Was no even an option? Could she have said no? What if she had said no? Did God have a back-up plan? These are the things I've been pondering over the last week or so.

Let's imagine if she had said no - okay let's not! Okay, maybe just a little to get a point across, but let's not dive too deep into it - as we don't want to divert from what God's Word does tell us about Mary and her willingness. Imagine Mary said "No, I'm not going to do this"...for whatever reason. I mean she had plenty, right? She wasn't married - and I'm certain that pregnancy outside of wedlock was NOT looked highly upon in Mary's time - so she faced rejection, gossip, whispers as she walked by and judgement from Joseph, her family, friends and even those who did not know her. I'm sure she feared and worried about Joseph's reaction and acceptance - how was she going to feel about this, what if he didn't believe that she had kept herself and remained faithful. She could have been concerned about the reaction of family, friends and others in her community - how was she ever going to explain this and still have them believe her...that she was carrying the Messiah...that she of all the young women (past, present and future) she had been selected. I mean let's face reality here folks - if someone told us a story like this today...would we 100% without a shadow of a doubt believe them? I personally, can't say as though I would. Imagine if she said "No", and there was no back-up plan. The whole world would have lost out on salvation because of her choice to not be the vessel in which God would bring salvation to this world. Imagine the horror. That thought is too much to bear and too vast to wrap my mind around. Yet with all of the excuses she had, all the other girls that God could have selected - Mary said "yes"...she said "yes". She said "yes" and had faith that God would work out all the details and questions in her mind. God had given her - an ordinary girl - an extra-ordinary ministry...she was going to be used of God to change this world FOREVER. It was going to take some explaining, some rejection (I'm sure), some being made fun of, standing out in the crowd and lots of patience, faith and trust...yet she was willing.

What about me? Just an ordinary lady - that God want to use in extraordinary ways. He wants to use me to change my "world" and those around me - to point them to Him. He wants me to carry His gospel - not inside my womb...but on the outside of my life for all the world to see. But yet sometimes I say "no"...oh the horror of that. Because it's not comfortable, others may reject me, I might stand out in the crowd, I don't have time to be that involved, or whatever the excuse is. Never considering that God has selected me for this ministry. It might mean smiling to others on a bus, cooking a meal for someone in need, taking the opportunities He gives me to share my faith with my Jewish boss or working with, at times disrespectful immature unappreciative, teenagers...or maybe something new in 2011? Whatever it is...over the last two weeks God has opened my eyes to the fact that we can't just say "no" because we can't see how it's all going to work itself out...but that's not why God calls me to a ministry. God calls me because he wants to use me to change the world of those I come in contact with - to point them to Him and I, like Mary, just need to see how HE is going to work at all the details and questions of my mind.

When God looks at me, and how I live all aspects of my life - I want him to say..."she said yes."

(kinda) Funny Story...

So we are going through this whole "re-stack" at work...basically they are updating work areas and cramming us into smaller cubicles - which just enough room to breath (however, I love the colors and set-up!). So I'm currently on the 14th floor. I moved there in November, and will be there until March-ish. There are four of us who are enduring this temporary "housing" for this long...it's a long story as to why - but basically it's because we started out on the 8th floor and will end up on the 5th - the 8th floor was at the beginning of the "re-stack" and the 5th floor is at the end - and we drew the short straws for having no where to sit during the transition!

For some time now we (the four of us) have been the only 4 people on this ENTIRE floor!! My boss, is one of the four, and is based out of Detroit. Usually he is in C-bus for 2-3 days each week; however, since Thanksgiving he's tried not to travel as often...and his meeting schedule has accommodated this desire. With it being December there is a lot of people taking time off as well. So one of the other two guys (of the four - I'm the only female! JOYish!), has taken a significant amount of time off. This leaves just one other guy and I on the floor. Well the other guy his wife just had their sixth baby (all under the age of 8 - thank you very much!) - so he's been doing a lot of working from home or working in a satellite office closer to his house. That means I'm often left alone on this floor. While other groups are coming to the floor for brief (2-3 weeks) stays in the near future - December hasn't been a great month to temporarily move people. So I've probably worked alone on the ENTIRE floor - all but 5 days since before Thanksgiving! While it is at times super creepy - I have been able to get MUCH accomplished. I just turn up my Pandora and go down the list of things that need to be done, as other minor fires come up throughout the day.

Well this week, my boss had to be in C-bus for meetings. He didn't arrive in the office until late in the day on Monday. When he arrived on the floor all of the lights had been turned off, except for those in my work area. I didn't realize this, because of the way the floor is set-up. He was NOT a happy camper to get off the elevators in a dark lobby and then walk back to our "home away from home" in the semi-dark (we have a lot of natural light that comes through the office). I had mentioned to him that I was alone - but he thought only in our work area...not the entire floor - although, I told him it was the entire floor. He was so upset that this was how I was having to work - I'm very fortunate to have a boss that cares very much about me, my safety and my work conditions. He was so worried about my safety. I should mention that the doors are locked at all times, and a pass card is required to obtain access to the floor. SO for that I'm thankful, and it gives me an extra level of calmness about the situation. My boss talked about it for several minutes. You have to know him to understand the picture I'm painting. He is very vocal. He enjoys hearing himself talk. He can be rather explosive - if he lets himself. He's very much a reactive person, and then tends to clean-up the mess later kind of person. You know ask for forgiveness later, than ask for permission now. Not unique traits to him - very common traits in Executives! SO you can only imagine the scene unfolding in front of me...it was like a bomb just exploded in the middle of the desert. So back to the story...he was talking about it again most of the next day. So later in the afternoon, he comes to my desk and says he's worried about me, and he wants to provide alternative seating if I should ever feel uncomfortable. So we began discussing his thoughts. To start off our convo - he says..."all night last night I kept thinking about this situation - I have an attractive 22 year old woman alone on this floor, all day and it's not safe..." (um what did he say? 22 years old?). Me: "yeah, try a little older, (laugh) much older...". Him: "okay, what you can't be older than 24...". Me: "haha, thanks for the complement - but I'm much older than 24 as well. But I'm open to alternative seating options - what are you thinking?" Him: "not possible, I don't believe it - but I'm not going to ask your age." Me (to myself): "Good!"

Conclusion to this situation - My boss who thinks I'm 24ish years old - yet knows I have almost 16 years administrative experience (explain that please)...and an alternative seating option should I ever feel uncomfortable! Hey, at least I got a laptop out of the conversation!

The True Meaning of Christmas...

A Soldier's Silent Night -

A special thank you to the American Soliders - past and present...you've given us a gift that extends well beyond Christmas - FREEDOM!

Merry Christmas to all those currently serving to keep the gift alive!

Failing...

I was never, nor will I ever be, an all "A" student! Super duper to all you out there who are! Two gold stars for you! However, I was a faithful "B" or "C" student - I worked very hard to get those grades, and my parents knew it...so they never pushed me to get straight "A" - but they did encourage me to do my best, and if they knew I could get an "A"...they gently nudged me that way. However, I never wanted to see a "D" on my report card - and most definitely never an "F". Thankfully, I never saw either! Because to me those were failing, and I've always been afraid of failing. Which is why I'm not really one to be the first one on the dance floor, to be the first to share, and you'd never see me play a sport. It's not because I don't like them - it's because I was afraid I'd fail. I've always been one to have many great ideas - but I'm too afraid to try...for instance, I've always dreamed of having my own business but I never have...because,what if I fail?

However right now I feel like I'm failing, and I'm so discouraged. I'm so angry right now. Those who don't know me well probably don't see it - but those who do...know I'm struggling. Someone told me earlier this year that I needed to be more transparent, to show people that I struggle. I don't like to do that - it shows I'm weak and that I have failures. But actually it only shows I'm human. So hear we go...

Recently, I baked a cake from scratch for my sister's birthday - and this cake was the detail that sent my heart and mind full force into failure mode. My sister wanted a yellow cake with chocolate icing. I thought "Done!". I can handle this - I've done it several times. Cake & Icing from scratch - no problem! (Although from scratch was not what she required) Since I didn't have a yellow cake recipe I was set on making - I searched for the perfect cake. She kept telling me a box mix is just fine. "NO! That's boring!" (those who know me - know I thoroughly enjoy making everything from scratch). So I found the recipe> I studied it. Read comments about it and adjusted my recipe to match some of the suggestions. I made the cake - the batter was a little runny, but it was still cake batter consistency. It looked and tasted delish in batter form. The cake baked at just the right amount of time, and looked perfect! As they cooled I made the Chocolate Fudge icing! Soon the cooled cake was iced. Everything looked perfect. However later on when it was time to eat the cake - I realized something wasn't right. I could barely get the candles in the cake. I'm serious when I say I had to shove them into the cake. I began laughing outside - but inside I was dying...I was crying, how embarrassing - I FAILED. I wanted this to be perfect for my sister, who does so much for me, and this cake was hard...like as a brick, not like hard to make. Finally I got the candles into the cake. We turned the lights off and sang. And then it was time to cut into this cake. It was solid - I mean not a crumb came off this cake and it stood perfectly still during transition from platter to plate. It looked horrible. It tasted even worse - it was solid and you couldn't really swallow it. I continued to laugh - because I knew if I stopped laughing I would burst into tears. I held it together for the rest of the celebration. But once I hit the car - hours later - the tears came. Okay so I know you are probably thinking - "wow, that's a little emotional over cake". But you see it wasn't the cake, exactly, it was a combination of many things that have led up to that cake. I feel like in so many areas of my life - I'm starting to see where I've failed, and where I'm failing. I'm crushed. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm mad. I feel I've failed in many things...but the two I'm struggling with right now are...

As a friend I've failed - I love my friends. It takes me a long time before I will call someone my friend. Because I have to learn to trust a person. In reality - I only have a few true friends, and I have MANY close acquaintances. My friends are my third layer of my foundation...God, Family and Friends. Since I'm older than most of my friends...I try to be an encouragement to them. I try to be an example to them. I try to always be there for them. I try to remember things in their life. Like...a big sister. However, I'm finding out that in my approach I'm failing my friends, because apparently they feel as though they can't be real with me. Within the last year, I've learned some things about my friends that aren't necessarily things I would do with my life. Does it make them wrong and me right - NO. Doesn't even make them wrong. They are just different choices than I would make. Yet, I still love them and I'm not going to judge them - (we are required to compare our lives to Biblical standards, NEVER to judge...that's God's job). If they asked for my opinion, I would share it - but it doesn't change how I feel about them or how I see them. It hurt even more when I found out that others knew and had known for a long time - months, even years about this. I was crushed. Not because I wasn't the first to know - but because everyone knew and I didn't. It was like a big joke once I found out - people even laughed that I finally knew. That hurt so bad. But apparently they feel they can't share these things with me. How horrible. How sad. That my friends don't even feel they can be 100% honest with me. At some point I must have done or said something that makes them feel they can't share these things. The same friend who told me I needed to be real, is the same friend who said - "well we don't share things with you because you are so perfect". I'M NOT PERFECT! I'M NOT! But yet they felt like not telling me was okay. I'm a big girl folks - I deal with real life stuff every day. The last thing I need is for my friends to feel they can't be who they are in front of me - all of the time. They ask me to be real -yet, how am I supposed to be 100% real with struggles that I have when they aren't being real with every day things that they do. Some where along the way I've failed, and I'm not the friend I thought I was or tried to be. Seems it bit me in the butt for caring too much to take a stand, or encourage a friend to have a closer walk with God, a life without so much drama, or just simply to show that I cared no matter what they say or do.

As a woman I've failed - Women were created to be a helper to a man. Women were created to have children. Women were given the desires to be both of these things...at the time of my birth it was naturally given to me by God to have the desire to want to marry and have children. Yet it's a desire that God hasn't fulfilled - nor has he taken away. SO for those who say "maybe you are too focused on it", well you tell me how I can change a natural desire that I have...oh yeah, and I'm only going to listen if you know how I feel. Meaning you are either my age or older, are single and have no children. All the rest of you - well you don't understand! You don't get it and you never will. So for a moment - sit back and see what life is like for someone who desires so badly to have what you have - and can't get it, because God has said "NO." I'm now less than six months from my scary age of 35. I never in a million years would have thought at 35 I would be single and without a child. Since I was a little girl, all I dreamed about was being a wife and mother...and neither of those things have been given to me. I have no one in my life that could be a possible mate. The one relationship I did have in my life - he only wanted the benefits of having a girlfriend in private, but in public was too ashamed of me to tell his family or friends...and today people laugh about it and some don't even know it existed. And for those who are thinking it...no we did not have sex, and yes he was a Christian. For some reason God doesn't see fit for me to have this sort of love. And it hurts, it sucks! I'm not saying that I don't have love - I do...from my family and others around me. But I'm talking about the love of a husband. I know that God loves me - I know that...so I'm not talking about that type of love either. It just hurts to know that God didn't select me to be married. Before you start asking well where have you tried...I've tried everywhere - I've paid money to join Match.com and E-harmony, and how stewardly is that for months on end to pay $35+ for something that isn't working. I've tried everything...other than lowering my standards - God's standards. I could be like other young women that I know who want this so badly that they've settled for less than God's ideal or let the temptation of sex overtake them, only to find themselves pregnant outside of a marriage relationship. I could do those things - if I allowed myself to...but that's not what God's plan is for the life of His child. I'm not judging them - please don't get me wrong...I'm just saying, I've tried so hard to be faithful and to be patient...for 16 years I've waited, and tried to follow the design God has for marriage and children - yet nothing. Wow thanks! Thanks for noticing!! And what do I get as my reward...well let's see on May 21 - solely because I'm 35 - I will become high risk should I ever get pregnant. The likelihood of me getting pregnant decreases by several percentage points. The likelihood of me having a child with Downs Syndrome or another birth defects increases several percentage points. Then if those statistics aren't depressing enough - my risk of getting three different types of cancer increase several percentage points - solely because I've never had sex or had a child. WOW! What super benefits for being patient and waiting. Seems like your doomed if you and doomed if you don't. Don't get me wrong - I know God is powerful and he can/does provide healthy children to women over 35 and there are millions of single women who don't have cancer. I know this...but the reality of those statistics make me stop and ask WHY? I don't know - maybe God is saving me from heartache...but that heartache must be pretty big - because this heartache is almost too much for me to handle any more.

I know it doesn't sound like I'm applying the verses that I've learned since I was a in the toddler nursery. I've not forgotten them, or the truths of God's Word. But I'm being honesty here folks - and let's be honest - how many of us ALWAYS apply a Bible Verse instantly to a struggle we have. And isn't honesty about a situation what helps our hearts to heal to actually see where God is working and healing? Often times being honest - is being human, and that's how God made us - to be human. He never promised us a life filled with rainbows and unicorns...and sometimes we have to face the pain and hurt. In life we fail, all the time...and often we have the chance to fix it. I hope that some of my failures can be fixable, and those that can...I hope I can learn to live through them.

So there you have it...I'm being honest. Hopefully, I've not failed.

Cake Stand: Caramel Apple Cake

One of my most favorite fall treats is Caramel Apples! Oh they are so yummy, juicy and ooey-gooey!! I love the sweetness of the apple and caramel topped of with the salty crunch of pecans. Oh my mouth is watering just thinking about it!!

I'm not one to take something from its original form and put it in a non-traditional form or to change up a good thing...because very rarely does the "new" version taste like the original version. But I think this past weekend, I created something that will stand on it's own, and will be a new favorite of mine. It's rather time consuming, but the results are OH SO worth the end result. I made an Apple Cake (that I've made before) and topped it with a caramel sauce/icing (recipe I found in my favorite Wednesday reading - The Columbus Dispatch Food Section), then sprinkled with pecan pieces! Oh yes, it was/is as yummy as it sounds!! Below are the two recipes that I used to make this yumminess!

Note: You will need a Candy Thermometer to make the icing. These can be purchased at your local grocer or department store, if you don't have one.

Caramel Apple Cake

Apple Cake
6 tablespoons Butter (real butter, not margarine or fake butter)
2 cups White Sugar
2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp Nutmeg
1 tsp Cinnamon
2 tsp Baking Soda
2 tsp. Vanilla (real vanilla, not imitation)
1 tsp Salt
1 cup walnuts (I omitted this weekend, due to some in my family not liking nuts in their cake)
6 cups Chopped Apples (approx. 5 medium size apples)

Directions:
Cream butter and sugar together and beat in eggs one at a time. Add dry ingredients and mix well. (Note: it will look like you don't have much batter, don't worry the apples will increase the batter). Add apples and nuts, mix thoroughly. Bake in a greased 13x9 in. pan for 1 hour (check on it around 45-50 min.) at 350*.

(Source: Apple Treats from Amish Country)

Caramel Frosting
2 cups packed brown sugar (I used light brown sugar)
1 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons butter (real butter, not margarine or fake butter)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup chopped pecans (I used the pecan pieces, found in the baking aisle)

Directions:
In a saucepan over medium heat, stir the brown sugar and cream until the sugar dissolves. Cook without stirring until a candy thermometer registers 238 to 240*. Remove from heat. Stir in butter with a wooden spoon. Cool frosting to 110*.
Stir in vanilla. Beat frosting until thick and creamy. Mine was more of a mix between a sauce and a frosting, because I don't think I beat it long enough - but I'm not going to change it next time!
Spread frosting over a completely cooled cake. Sprinkle with pecans. Enjoy!

(Source: Columbus Dispatch, Food Section - original recipe Caramel Cake, September 2010)

*My completed cake sat for about 2 hours before serving, allowing the frosting to "set".

This cake is very sweet and rich - so you might want to "calm" the sweetness with Ice Cream (Vanilla or Cinnamon would be nice) or have coffee on hand for the coffee lover in your life.

Brownie Pan: Candy Bar Brownies

I heart brownies! I love that brownies can please children and adults a like, and that they have many variations!! Plus I'm a chocoholic!! Hi, my name's Meg - and I'm a chocoholic! :)

As those who follow know, I LOVE to make things from scratch - and when possible that's exactly what I do. Including cakes, brownies, bar treats, cookies, pies, etc. I get much more joy out of watching something come to life from nothing, rather than adding some oil, eggs and water to a pre-packaged mix. No offense to those that bake this way - I mean you gotta do what you gotta do!! :)

Last week, our church lost a very key leader and godly man. I've known this person since I was a small child, and his death was both sudden and shocking to our congregation. This man had many ministries in which he served, but that one closest to his heart was program called AWANA. Back in my day - the winner of each group would win a candy bar at the end of the evening. This was the goal - of course, this was well before we worried about things like child obesity (because we actually went outside and played) or trans fats. So when I called the lady who coordinates meals for families before a funeral, to see what I could do to help - she asked if I could make a pan of brownies! I was glad to do so. It didn't take me long to figure out the variation I was going to make...Candy Bar Brownies. I mean it made sense - most of my memories of this man revolved around AWANA, and as a child coming home with a candy bar on Tuesday evenings was the best way to end your day! These brownies have Snickers bars throughout the batter and Hershey pieces sprinkled on top. I like to have the pieces writing side up - so you can see "Hershey" on each piece. So I meticulously cut each piece to ensure I have even size pieces that say the entire "Hershey" word...okay so I'm a little OCD, about certain things! :) The brownies bake just long enough to start to melt the chocolate, but not long enough for the "writing" to disappear!

I've made these brownies before and most people who eat them really enjoy them...but this time, I seem to have made a batch that just had everyone talking - per a 13 year old boy who attended the dinner. I've had many ask for the recipe, since they ate them on Friday. So I figured, this is one I should probably share on my blog! Once you read the ingredients you will see why they taste so yummy - they are made with everything you shouldn't eat!

Candy Bar Brownies
3/4 cup butter, melted (I only use real butter, no margarine or fake butter)
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (I only use pure vanilla, no imitation)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup baking cocoa
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 Snickers Bars, (2.07 ounces each), cut into 1/4 inch pieces
3 plain milk chocolate candy bars (1.55 ounces) - chopped (I just cut along the edges of each Hershey stamped block)

Directions:
In a large bowl, combine the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla. In a small bowl, combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt; set aside 1/4 cup (of the dry ingredients). Stir remaining dry ingredients into the egg mixture until well combined. Toss Snickers pieces with the reserved flour mixture; stir into batter.

Transfer to a greased 13x9 baking pan. Sprinkle with milk chocolate candy pieces. Bake at 350* for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. (do not overbake). Cool on a wire rack. Chill before cutting. Enjoy!
(http://www.tasteofhome.com/)

An ice cold glass of milk or a cup of hot coffee compliment these "pieces of heaven on earth", very nicely!

Cookie Jar: Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies

When it comes to cookies I love everything about them! I love making them, the aroma that fills Villa de Megalicious as they bake, and of course I love eating them!! They are just little pieces of heaven here on earth! Cookies are so universal too - they are a nice treat to have by yourself and twice as nice to share, children love them and so do most adults! I can honestly say (in my deep voice)..."Yum, Yum, Yum - me love cookies!!" - can you tell that Cookie Monster was (okay still is) my favorite Sesame Street Puppet!

The recipe below is one of my (and so many others) favorites. They are very easy to make and the only time consuming part is waiting for them to cool - so you can put the filling on them and make the sandwich. They are great with tea - so I would assume they make a nice complement to a cup of coffee as well...I don't consume coffee, it stunts my growth!!!

Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies

Cookie Dough:
1 cup butter-flavored shortening
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Filling:
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
3 cups confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 to 6 tablespoons milk

Directions:
In a large bowl, cream the shortening, peanut butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition after each addition. Add vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; add to creamed mixture and mix well.

Shape into 1-in. balls and place 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten to 3/8-in. thickness with fork. Bake at 375* for 7-8 minutes or until golden. Remove to wire racks to cool.

For filling, in a large bowl, beat the peanut butter, confectioners' sugar, vanilla and enough milk to achieve spreading consistency. Spread on half of the cookies and top each with another cookie. Yield: 44 sandwich cookies.

(source: Taste of Home, Complete Guide to Baking)

Serve with an ice cold glass of milk, a cup of warm tea or steaming hot coffee - however you prefer the temperature of your drink, you will LOVE these cookies!

"What Would You Do?"...

Until this past Thursday at Small Group, I had never heard of this show...it looks like a show I would enjoy, and I do plan to watch it on a Friday evening when I'm home just relaxing. When I heard about the show I did some research on it - and I found this clip...one that hit home to me. This week I had two experiences in my own life that are similar to this clip.

I commute to work via the public bus system in C-bus. My commute is about 35-40 minutes long and it is during the hours when 90% of the passengers are "business" people - just trying to get to their jobs downtown or home to their families in the evening. But on occasion - more so in the evening - you will see a different type of person than that of the majority. They usually smell of body odor, alcohol, dirt, marijuana or a combination of these and other unpleasant aromas - their skin is dirty, their clothes are covered in dirt, stained or soiled, their hair often is not brushed - one might also wonder how long it's been since it was washed. One would not get close enough to experience the smell of the passengers breath - but you can tell when they smile that their teeth are in need of attention as well. It's not pleasant or appealing. I will admit that there have been times when I have to look away at what my eyes are beholding. Times when I myself have been uncomfortable, solely because of their presence on the bus. I often sit in the seat nearest the window, using the seat next to me for my purse and bag (both of which I wrap my arm through for safety purposes). This makes it possible for me to have the entire bench (2 seats) to myself - not to be selfish or appear to be above others, but room on the bus is limited and it's nice to have my own space. Once I'm settled in I take out a book or my Bible to read or my Blackberry to scroll through/send e-mails, check Facebook, or listen to my selections on Pandora. I'm in my own world - occasionally looking around the bus in between stops. At each stop I discretely peek over the top of my book or move my focus to the front door. I evaluate the status of seating options and the number of people getting on - and if necessary I (inside) moaningly move my purse and bag to my lap to allow another person to sit next to me - praying they aren't "weird" or smelly, and that they won't be on the bus for long - again, I just like to have my own space. For the record - to date I've only had to share my seat twice!

Rewind to Thursday - I had a nice spot near the back of the bus. I like the back of the bus because I can see the majority of the people on the bus - and I'm OCD about being able to see everyone around me whether I'm on the bus, sitting at a table enjoying dinner with friends, or finding my spot in my ADG class...I just like to see those around me. Thursday beheld a beautiful morning in Cbus - it was the first in a while that wasn't extremely hot or had hints at the threat of rain. During my brief time of being a bus commuter - I've learned that these types of a conditions generally mean the bus will attract more people, and on those days usually the bus is pretty full. More people want to get out of their homes and experience the beautiful day - handle any errands they may need to accomplish. Thursday was no different. The bus stopped at EVERY stop - along my 10 mile journey. Each stop had no less than 3 people getting on - so the bus was filling quickly. Occasionally a passenger or two would get off, as others boarded - but that didn't seem to be the norm so much on Thursday...as it is most mornings. As the bus pulls away from each stop a pleasant female computerized voice says "Next stop ______ & _____, followed by _______ & _____." The bus arrived at Broad & Glenwood Avenue. Broad & Glenwood is located in a very low income, somewhat high crime area of town. I forgot to mention that my bus ride takes me through this area - I mean it's not uncommon that the closer you get to any downtown area of any major city the neighborhood around the downtown is similar to the area I'm referring to. In Cbus this particular area is referred to as "The Bottoms", as it sets at the bottom of a hill. Back to the bus stop! I did my quick glance - one passenger getting on, no one getting off - but still ample seating, especially towards the front - no need to move my belongings! The passenger got on - by this point I was back to my book - and she slowly walked down the aisle. Usually the bus is somewhat noisy - the female voice telling you of the upcoming stops, the ding of the "STOP REQUESTED" button - which also has the same female voice saying "STOP REQUESTED", the loud ventilation system, the usual roar of a diesel type engine and sometimes the sound of people talking or children laughing. But not at this moment - at the moment the lady was moving through the bus the sound of nothingness filled the bus and to make it even more awkward the bus wasn't moving. Often if the bus is running ahead of schedule the driver will wait for a couple of moments to get back on track, but that wasn't the case that morning - I'm not really sure what the delay was a result of. As she walked down the aisle - I could see that she was not a "business" person. She had long stringy hair that was matted in some places while others were just strands of stringy, oily hair that was all pulled into a ponytail - that appeared to have been slept on. She was dirty - her clothes were dirty and they didn't' fit. She was pulling something - very slowly down the aisle and you could tell by the sound that it was off balance - walking past the open seats in the front and middle of the bus. I soon realized she was coming to the back - with very limited seating. The closer she got to me - I heard God saying, "Megan - move your stuff." "No!" "Megan move your stuff - they will know you are a Christian by your love, and today love means moving your stuff." "Fine, but I'm not happy about this God." I moved my stuff, but went quickly back to the book - not making eye contact with anyone...especially the slow boarding passenger. She passed my seat - and there in the corner of my eye I saw a large black suitcase - bulging with stuff. Zippers unzipped, clothes hanging out. "What in the world?" The bus was moving again by this point and she found her spot on a long bench behind me, but still in my line of peripheral vision. She sat down and gave out a deep breath - the aroma from her body filled the air. She then started unpacking everything - putting it on the bench next to her. She gave out a deep sigh and then announced that she was "just trying to leave". "Leave what?" I wondered. By this point I had read the same line several times, and was trying to look out of the corner of my eye, but not stare. I then realized that with all she was pulling out - this black suitcase probably contains all that belongs to her. A suitcase the size of one I would use to take on a week's vacation - contained all that belonged to her. The humbleness brick hit me hard in the head - and soon I was fiighting back tears. She continued saying it over and over again "I'm just trying to leave." She wouldn't answer when someone asked what she was leaving - but the evidence of her need to re-pack and the discombobulate appearance indicates that whatever she was leaving, she was leaving in a hurry, and getting to that spot on the bus was helping her leave. She quickly re-packed everything neatly into the suitcase - and the bus had arrived at Broad & High...where I get off the 32 window coupe (as my Dad calls it!). I put my book in my bag, stood up, straightened my skirt, picked up my belongs and headed for the door. Leaving the "departing" woman sitting on the bus. But the image of her hasn't left my mind - since I left her behind.

The departing lady had little compared to most of us on that bus. She was poor, when it came to the world's standards - who am I fooling, even my standards would say she was poor. She was unattractive to the world - to me. But as I sat on the bus listening to her speak and hurriedly re-pack her belongings, it soon hit me that to God she was another person that He loved, that may need to know of His love. I discarded her and didn't even want her to sit next to me for 10 min. Why? Because she smelled, or her hair wasn't just so - or because her clothing was stained. SHAME ON ME! How shallow of me - how horrible of me. I have never thought of myself as shallow or above others. But on Thursday - I had to do a perspective alignment - my heart that morning was just as cold to this woman as the sun was warm on the outside of the bus.

Fast Forward to Friday - It was a beautiful, warm Friday evening. I had managed to get everything crossed off my "to do" list at work and I was able to leave 5 min early to catch the 5:02! That was my goal! I made it just in time. I assumed my usual spot - and prayed very few stops would be made along the way...I was itching to start my weekend and get home! Friday, I parked at a different location than usual...but that just meant getting off the bus sooner and getting home even earlier! We made it to the Hilltop in what felt like record time. By 5:30, we had worked our way to the Westgate area, and I was off the bus heading to my bright blue Vibe! There was pep in my step. We don't have dress-down days on Friday - so there I was walking down Broad Street at 5:30 p.m. - cars were filling the street. I was wearing one of my very favorite shirts, with black dress pants and my oh so cute black peep-toe slingback 2 inch heels. I was just smiling - ready for the weekend to begin! Then all of a sudden I was wobbling, my balance had left me, and the concrete sidewalk was getting closer to my face. I tried to recover - but no luck. Thud - I heard it, I felt it. There I was...purse and bag on the ground, face just centimeters from the sidewalk, my twisted legs were under me, my knees and palms were burning from the smack of the hard ground. I looked up - I was horrified. I'm here on one of the busiest roads in town at one of the busiest times, and I'm lying on the ground with my bum in the air for all who pass by to see. I slowly re-grouped, grabbing items that had fallen out of my purse/bag and started getting up. A white SUV filled with passengers slowed down to see if I was alright. I gave them a nod and a half-hearted smile to say thanks! As I was standing I could feel the "impact" in my body - my ankles were throbbing from doing the twist in those 2 inch heels. I stood there for a moment to completely regroup. I looked at my pants - no holes, that was a positive! I looked at my hands and feet - no bleeding. I knew my knees were scrapped - but I wasn't going to give Broad St. a peek at those - they just saw my bum in the air. As I was walking away a lady quickly approached me - "Are you okay?" "Yes, just a little embarrassed" "Don't worry about that - I just wanted to make sure you were okay. My husband and I saw you getting up, and he told me to come help you." "No, I'm fine. But thanks for asking." She then went on into the hardware store and I hobbled away. The pep had left my step, and I was just trying to get away. When I got to my car, I put my belongings on the passenger seat, pulled up my pant leg and assessed my new boo-boo. My knee was banged up, but nothing major - and no blood! I thanked God that my "injuries" weren't any worse... I mean those shoes alone could have caused a serious injury. I got into my car, turned on the AC, turned up the radio and proceeded home! Still kind of fuzzy about what had just happened.

As I pulled away - I couldn't help but believe, that two complete strangers would stop to make sure that I was okay. They could have looked at me through the corner of their eye continuing on with their business, or even just looking away from the situation. I again was humbled - this time I was the "different" person. I was the unattractive person lying on the sidewalk. But God used a small rock in the sidewalk to teach me a lesson, and to bring me literally flat on my face. I, like the departing lady, was just trying to get away - even though away was to the start of my weekend, I was heading somewhere. And along the way I had a minor delay - mine wasn't a slow suitcase with a busted wheel that was bulging with my belongings, rather a rock that I stepped on and landing me on the ground. I'm sure just like me, as I was lying the ground with my belongings scattered on the sidewalk - she too was embarrassed to have all of her belongings scattered on the seat next to her for the entire back portion of the bus to see. However, unlike her those around me stopped to make sure I was okay. That I didn't need help. But the departing lady - wasn't as fortunate. Instead she was judged, discarded and who knows what else happened in the minds of others on the bus. How heartbreaking! How could I be that person - I always strive to see others with Christ's eyes - eyes of compassion, that see those around me as needing a Savior and experiencing His Love & Forgiveness. Yet, that morning I looked away. How shameful of me. While I've confessed this sin to God and he has forgiven me - may I never forget the picture of the departing lady. May it never be too far back in my memory bank - may I always remember the departing lady, and may I always attempt to see those around me with Christ's eyes.

"What Would You Do?"

Current Happenings...

I've been "gone" for a few weeks - and much has changed in my world...so I thought I'd let those who follow know about some updates on items I've posted about over the last few months.

• Work - As most know my previous job ended on May 26...and I left that job without having another job lined up. With having almost 6 months of notice about the conclusion of this position this was not the place I wanted to be in...but it was where God wanted me to be. And while that was hard to understand or see...then - I can look back and praise him for this time. I was able to spend lots of time with family and lots of necessary time preparing for VBS at IBC...as I was the Director this year, and due to different circumstances - I found out this would be my official role in VBS on May 13th...and VBS was to start on June 27th. So needless to say my days weren't wasted...but rather very productive. However, on Tuesday, June 15th I was offered a position in the Credit Department of a large bank headquartered in Cbus. I was so excited...it was the position I was looking for - providing administrative support to two VP's and also using many of my event/meeting planning skills! On Wednesday - I will be with the bank one month and I LOVE IT!! I work in their downtown corporate office, so I've been taking public transportation (which I'm sure will provide the content of future posts!). The two gentlemen that I support are very appreciative of me being their and are very excited to have me join the team. When I took the position, I prayed that God would allow many many opportunities to share Christ with those around me. During my second week - I found out that one of the guys I support is Jewish...that was totally a God thing. So I've recently started reading and do a refresher on the Jewish religion their Holidays and how as a Christian I can demonstrate Christ's love in a non-offensive way. I really just want to be a light to my boss - and use the opportunities God provides...in HIS time. I'm just starting to build a relationship with my boss - so I don't want to do anything that will harm that initial foundation. I know that this isn't going to be a conversion that happens overnight - but I want to be used of God in this situation.
• VBS - VBS went very well this year! I praise the Lord for the wonderful staff, a great group of kids and beautiful weather. We had as many as 71 one night - with 80 total enrolled for the week...most having not connection to IBC!!! We raised $264.16 for our missions project to help children affected by the earthquakes in Haiti and Chili - our goal was $150...those kids amazed me with their generosity! And best part of the week - we had one boy who accepted Christ as his Savior! We are going to start the follow-up process soon...once we have a better understanding of how things are going to run this Fall in our Youth/AWANA programs!
• Pastor Search - As you know the Search Committee met with four candidates for face-to-face interviews in May. We narrowed our selection down to one candidate and we were very excited about the opportunity of having this man and his wife come lead IBC. Well last Sunday (July 18) the candidate and his wife came to IBC...well they actually came on Thursday and met with various groups of people on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Sunday involved him preaching, a Potluck (like any good Baptist church would do!!) and then a round of Q&A. I thought things went very well - but I was honestly concerned about how things would turn out. I had this person as my #1 candidate since I had read his resume in February...but I wasn't sure how the IBC membership would vote. But on Wednesday evening we held a special business meeting to vote. We voted to call the candidate (who's name I will still remain anonymous...as I'm not 100% sure his church is aware, and I would hate to have that news divulged without it coming directly from him), and he accepted our call!!! WOO-WHOOO!! We are so excited to have him join the IBC family and for the possibilities of how God is going to use IBC to reach the Westgate/Hilltop areas!! A confirmed date of his arrival has not yet been announced - but I know that they are hoping to be with us by the start of September...but there is much that needs to happen on their end, like selling a house. Being the "thinker" that I am - I couldn't help but reflect on how IBC had come full circle with process. The Search Committee met for the first time on Sunday, July 26 2009 and on Sunday, July 18 (almost one year later) we had a candidate preaching for us to consider. It's been a rough year - on so many levels and much has changed...but I praise the Lord that through all of that has happened in the last 52 weeks he faithful has remained!
• Family - My Dad's health has been kind of fair over the last several months. It's a big worry on all of us - especially my Mom. But we did receive some good news a couple of weeks ago...the lesion on his vocal cords continues to get smaller and it's not as red - so that was a blessing. We will take the smallest amount of good news we can get. Ashley is progressing along nicely, and is nearing the end of her third trimester...with one month and 10 days from her due date - tomorrow. We are all anticipating the arrival of this new addition and how she will change our lives forever. Hayden moves into the dorms one month from tomorrow - and just this weekend found out who is roommate will be...so that is exciting. He also found out that he has a religion class with another girl at our church who also attends Capital...so that will be good to have a familiar face in the crowd! Kari and the kids just returned from a week at family camp and they LOVED it!!! Everyone else is doing great and just keeping up with all the changes that are occurring in our family, at IBC and just everyday life stuff!

That's the most current news...it could change without notice, nothing seems to stay the same for too long around here...but for now that's the news!

Simple Woman's Daybook 7.20.10

Outside my window...is a warm summer night, with the a hint of rain on the horizon.

I am thinking...about how the vote is going to go tomorrow night at church. We are voting for a new Sr. Pastor.

I am thankful for...the gift of a computer - so that I can be electronically connected again at home. I've missed blogging!! In addition, I'm so thankful with how well things are going with my new job!

From the learning rooms...well this week I'm looking into some classes at local craft stores. Classes I might take this Fall/Winter...as my evenings will be a little less hectic and there are some things I want to learn to do: complete the cake decorating course I started a few years ago; sewing using a sewing machine and possibly crocheting. In addition to a refresh course in candy making.

From the kitchen...during my recent "vacation" from work - I wanted to make sure that I was finding ways to stay active in my meal ministry, but also stay below my budget (since I was on a "fixed" income)...so I wasn't able to make meals - but I was able to bake little yummy treats during those four weeks - like cupcakes for my brother's family when they were all having a rough week; brownies the end of the year Ensemble dinner (Ayana was able to help with this project - and she told me I was the best cooker she knew!); Cherry and Apple Dump Cakes for Hayden's graduation party - only to find out that my Grandma Emma (who I completely resemble in more ways than one and who I would love to name my daughter after) used to make this same dessert, and my Aunt hadn't had it since Grandma died 34 year's ago. So while they weren't full blown meals - I was still able to bring some yumminess to the lives of those around me. I also plan to make a pan of Pumpkin Bars with Homemade Whipped Cream - as a thank you to the person who provided me with my computer - they won't let me pay them.

I am wearing...comfy attire

I am creating...a list of names of children to follow-up with from VBS this year - and names of people at IBC who could help with this process...SS teachers, Youth Workers, etc.!!

I am going...to a wedding this weekend!! :)

I am reading..."Ever After" by Karen Kingsbury. I've been reading it for several years now - but I've not found the time to just sit and read it the way I would like. However, since I ride the bus now - I have 35-40 min. one way to sit back and read. During my bus ride I've also been reading a chapter of Proverbs for what ever day it is - like today I read Proverbs 20.

I am hoping...for something to arrive in the mail, that is LONG overdue.

I am hearing...the quietness of my house. Which is often very nice - but at night time, I don't like it...it makes me realize that I am alone. Don't get me wrong - I know God is here with me - but in terms of a tangible someone...I'm alone. Singleness has been heavy on my heart in recent weeks.

Around the house...I've been crossing many different projects off my list. This past weekend it was gutter cleaning, carport painting and shrub trimming. Along with talking to a friend about some improvements to the front walk and front porch. This coming weekend it will be Air Duct cleaning. All of these are services I've had to "hire-out" - and honestly last weekend I had a hard time with that. I hated that I had to spend money to have someone come do basic home up keep types of things I couldn't do - and it made my singleness even more "there". I realize that just because someone is married doesn't mean they won't have to "hire-out" projects...but more than likely some of these things could be done...if I weren't so mechanically disadvantaged or if I had a handy husband around. On top of those projects I had two smoke detectors that started chirping due to low batteries - thankfully I was able to fix those. But the one project that I can't fix is the light bulb in my upstairs hallway blew - and I can't reach it to change it - nor can I stand on a ladder to fix it, because the fixture is above the stairs...so I'm currently without a hall light...until I can get a tall friend over to help me change it. And I need to replace my garbage disposal - but I'm hoping maybe I can have someone replace it (with me purchasing the parts) in exchange for a home cooked meal - menu of their choice!

One of my favorite things...watching Hayden play baseball. I watched him play this evening for the last time this season. Seems hard to believe that 13 Summers ago - we started out on this journey...who would of thought then how much I would fall in love with watching him play baseball. I knew I'd love the boy playing the game - but had no clue I'd love the game itself.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Special Business Meeting at IBC tomorrow night; attending the first meeting I've planned for my new job; going to a wedding; projects around the house; dinner and a movie; and listening to stories of the Knisley's experience at Family Camp!


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"Before the Morning..."

Home in the Kitchen...

As you know, one of my biggest passions in life is food. I find cooking AND baking to be a great therapy session for my heart, mind and soul. I love ministering to people and especially ministering with food. When I cook a meal for friends, family, etc...I enjoy sitting back and watching how faces react to the taste of my creation. I love to make things from scratch - very rarely do I use a processed, packaged or canned item...although sometimes, I give in and use one of these items to reduce the prep time and on occasion it's more economical - but I prefer homemade, from scratch everything when I cook. I think it's one of the reasons why so many enjoy my food - it's fresh and the natural taste of the food comes out.

Being that I'm single and I find cooking for myself to be rather difficult. I was raised to cook for a group, and quite honestly the bigger the group the more I love to cook. So reducing my recipes to accommodate a one person household is an obstacle that I often face. Hence the reason why when I usually cook - I'm sharing leftovers with family, or taking them into the office for co-workers to enjoy. Any time I can get the opportunity to cook for more than myself - I jump on it...another reason why I have Meg's Meal Ministry. As I said - I love to use food to minister, witness and show love.

During the last five days the IBC Search Committee has had the opportunity to meet 2 of 4 Pastoral Candidates (the other two will come this weekend and next). These meetings included dinner and an in-depth interview session. So when the opportunity to share my cooking passion with the committee members, the candidates and their wives (9 ppl per meal) became available...I couldn't help but volunteer to prepare the meals for two of our sessions. Because of my schedule - I selected the first two sessions (last Saturday and Tuesday). I spent some time considering what I'd make, and creating the menus for each meal. I made the list of items I'd need and headed to the store for round one...in keeping with my desire to serve fresh food, I decided I'd make two trips to the grocery store. One for each meal, unless there was an item that I could purchase on sale during the first trip. I prepared the meals at IBC for ease of transportation. I spent hours in the kitchen - mixing, tossing, chopping, cooking and baking....I was in my zone!! Looking back, it was a great chance for me to focus my mind on something other than my need of a job, and the stress that comes with those thoughts. Last week I was struggling greatly with this issue, GOD KNEW I'd need to be refreshed!! I had the responsibility of making sure that dinner for 9 was ready at 6:00 for each meeting - so I didn't have time to fret over something that will take place next week. I enjoyed every moment of preparing, sitting the table and making sure every detail was handled. Although I will admit that when the time came - I loved when I was finally able to sit down with a glass of ice cold lemonade or ice water - and enjoy the faces of those around the table enjoying my meal...my practical gift to them.

Since the majority of my thoughts and experiences over the last few days have revolved around these meals - I thought I'd share the menus and some recipes from each meal here.

Saturday 5/15
BBQ Pulled Pork (served with Honey Sandwich Buns)
Oven Roasted Red Potatoes
Tomato, Cucumber & Onion Salad (recipe in previous post)
Strawberry Shortcake
Sweet Tea
Lemonade (used Kroger Brand Mix to ease prep - garnished with fresh lemon slices)
Ice Water
Coffee (courtesy of Phil M.)

Tuesday 5/18
Lasagna
Tossed Salad (Dole Prepared Mix - Greener Selection Blend tossed with fresh Spinach - crouton, bacon bites and dressings)
Garlic Texas Toast (Kroger frozen brand)
Cherry Dump Cake
Sweet Tea
Lemonade (used Kroger Brand Mix to ease prep - garnished with fresh lemon slices)
Ice Water
Coffee (courtesy of Phil M.)

Corresponding Recipes:

Jenni's Pulled Pork
5 lbs. Pork Roast
2 L. Diet Soda (I use the off-brand)
2 18 oz. bottle of BBQ sauce (I use Kroger Thick & Smoky)

Place pork roast in a slow cooker, and pour entire 2 L of soda into the slow cooker. On Low for 12-14 hours, or High for 6-7 hours cook the roast. Remove roast, discard soda and wipe slow cooker clean. Shred pork and return to slow cooker. Add BBQ sauce and cook for another 1-2 hours, until tender and mixed.
(published in Gooseberry Patch Cookbook "Summer in the Country")

Oven Roasted Red Potatoes
3 lbs Red Potatoes
2 envelopes dry Italian Dressing Mix (I use Kroger Zesty Italian Dry Mix)
1/2 cup Olive Oil

Pre-heat oven to 450*. Cut potatoes into bite size chunks. Put potatoes chunks in a large resealable plastic bag. Add Dressing Mix and Olive Oil. Toss in bag until chunks are evenly coated. Pour contents onto a medium baking dish. Bake for 40 min., stirring occasionally
(source - allrecipes.com)

Strawberry Shortcake - A combination of a couple of recipes.

• Follow the Shortcake recipe on the side of the box of Bisquick
• Slice Strawberries, and toss with sugar to bring out sweetness
• Easy Whipped Cream - source allrecipes.com

Good Ol' Alabama Sweet Tea
2 cups sugar
1/2 gallon water
1 tray of ice cubes
3 family sized teabags
3 cups of water
Lemon Slices (one lemon) - garnish

Pour the sugar into a large pitcher. Bring water to a boil in a large pan. When the water begins to boil, remove from the heat, and place the teabags in. Let steep for 5 to 6 minutes.
Remove tea bags, and return tea to the heat. Bring just to a boil, then pour into the pitcher, and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Fill the pitcher half way with ice, and stir until most of it melts. Then fill the pitcher the rest of the way with cold water, and stir until blended. Garnish withe Lemon.
(source allrecipes.com)

Aunt Meg's Lasagna
1 box Barilla No Cook Lasagna Noodles
1 family size jar Tomato & Basil Pasta Sauce (I use Kroger Brand)
1 Regular size jar Traditional Pasta Sauce (I use Kroger Brand)
2 pound Italian Sausage (I use Kroger Brand)
1 package Pepperoni (I use Kroger Brand)
3 package of Italian Blend cheese (I love cheesy Lasagna - I use Kroger Brand)
To taste/preference
Oregano
Basil
Italian Seasoning
Garlic
Pepper
Onion Powder
Parmesan Cheese
Parsley to Garnish

Pre-heat oven to 350*. Pour small amount of Traditional Sauce in bottom of a deep dish 9x13 pan - to make a thin layer of sauce. Brown Italian Sausage. Drain sausage & mix with Tomato Basil Sauce, spices to preference. Spoon 1/3 of the of the meat sauce mixture. Top with 1/3 of the pepperoni. Top with 1 package of Italian Blend Cheese and sprinkle with Parmesan Cheese. Repeat layers. With top layer being remainder of the Traditional sauce with Pepperoni (no meat sauce) and last package of Italian Blend cheese. Sprinkle with Parmesan Cheese and garnish with Parsley. Cover with foil. Refrigerate overnight*. Bake for 40 min. covered. Remove foil and continue baking for another 30 min. until cheese is melted and golden. Remove from oven and allow to stand for 5-10 min. before serving.
*If you don't refrigerate...reduce baking time.

Cherry Dump Cake
2 cans cherry* pie filling (I used Kroger Brand)
1 box Yellow Cake Mix
1 cup chopped pecans
1 stick butter (never use margarine to cook or bake), sliced

Pre-heat oven to 350* (325* for glass pan). Grease a 9x13 dish. Pour pie filling into the dish, smooth to make an even layer. Pour (dry) yellow cake mix on top - smooth to make an even layer. Sprinkle top with chopped pecans. Dot with butter. Bake for 48-52 min (golden & bubbling). Serve warm or cold. You can serve with whipped topping, vanilla ice cream or plain.
*You can use any pie filling - blueberries & apples are nice as well.

Enjoy...

A Cluttered Mind...

I know I've not been here for a while...and it's not that I don't want to share. It's that my mind is so full and cluttered these days that I can't get my thoughts in order enough to post an update, share a story or express my feelings that don't sound like a bunch of ramblings. So instead I thought I'd share a song that has been very close to my mind in the middle of all that I am experiencing.

Please continue to pray for me...my need of job is so heavy on my mind that it's continually there being tossed about - like a wave in the sea during a storm... thankfully I'm able to sleep - but I'm not sure how long that luxury will last. However, as soon as I wake up - no matter the time of day or night...the reality is there. I feel like I can't even go to the store to purchase food or pay for a tank of gas without first wondering if I'm making the right decision or if I should spend less. The worry of getting injured or sick without medical insurance - paralyzes me. The thought of not having enough money to pay for the basic needs of my household and life - are overwhelming and suffocating me. I know God will provide - it's just the waiting for Him to provide that I'm struggling with. I'm a rather patient person - I've waited for much longer than 5 months for most of "big" things that I have in my life - but all of those some things didn't have a deadline attached to it, they didn't have an expiration date...it's when a deadline is attached that I have trouble with waiting...and now with only 12 working days left of guaranteed employment...my body is being over taken by fear, worry and burden. I've been clinging to the verses that reveal His promise of provision and supply...it's what gets me out of bed each day. It's just making the practical part of me, rest in these promises. So please pray!!

Developing Story...

I'm a Breaking News creeper. When Breaking News occurs...I follow the story for hours, days, weeks, until the story is resolved or the updates are no longer. As the details of the story unfolds the news feed usually reads "developing story"...and the details are given. I guess that's what our lives are - developing stories. Each day something new is added to our story - whether we realize it or not. Each day our story changes.

I've been gone from my blog for several days now - it's not that I've not had anything to write about, it's just trying to figure out how to put it all into words. So I've decided to do quick re-caps of a few areas of my story- I've had some developments....

• Garden ~ many spring perennials have been planted, summer perennials will be planted on Monday, and annuals for the summer will be purchased when I return from a trip later next week. My hostas are coming up nicely. My lilies are also coming back strong. And my hydrangea has some green buds. I LOVE watching life return to Villa de Megalicious during these springs months. Once I return from my trip I'll start the container garden process. FINGERS CROSSED it will work. I'll try to get some pics of the gardens and post here in the near future.
• Virginia Beach ~ very early on Thursday morning, I will board a chartered bus and head to Virgina Beach, VA as a chaperon on a High School trip. Hayden's Show Choir is participating in a competition and parade for the Azalea Festival. I'm really hoping to see some beautiful azaleas...but more than that - I'm SO looking forward to going to the beach. AHH, the beach is where my heart longs to be...it's my most favorite destination!! The current weather forecast is calling for beautiful days of sun, and pleasant temps. I'm also looking forward to spending some time with some amazing teenagers. Many come from homes/backgrounds that I can't even begin to imagine. I know many of them, as I went on this same trip last year - and also through various interactions with Hayden. My hope is that my very limited and brief time with them will allow me to get to know them more, and that I can make a positive impact on their lives. I pray I will see them with Christ's eyes - that I may demonstrate His love in my words and actions towards them.
• Another Girl ~ I found out yesterday that I will welcome a Great Niece in September. I've known for a few months now that I would be a Great Aunt (well I'm already a great aunt, but now I'll have the official title!) in late August or September...the official due date is September 6 (Labor Day). However, I've been very clear in letting my oldest niece Ashley (the baby's mommy) know that this newest addition WOULD NOT call me Great Aunt Meggie...I'm far too young for such a title before my name!;) Ashley is not married, so the news of an addition was rather shocking and disappointing - but our family is trying to find the positives in this current bittersweet hurdle, and we are looking forward to having another person to love. The news of a girl - was welcomed by the ladies in our family...the guys, well they just rolled their eyes and said "Go figure!". The new addition will bring our family count to 14 - making the ratio 10 to 4 - GIRLS RULE!!
• Job ~ I'm currently at the 4.5 week mark before my position is completely transferred, and I become unemployed. I had a private emotional breakdown one evening last week, as the reality of the end seemed to be closer than I'd wanted it to be. However, God is continuing to work and allowing me to explore possible opportunities - I have two interviews this coming week. One on Monday and another on Wednesday! I continue to aim in resting in God's timing and His plan.
• Sleep ~ with the onset of my last year in my early thirty's coming to an end, I'm noticing my body does not accept caffeine the way it once did, and I'm not able to pull off the late nights as I once did either. This has been a hard truth to face - as I'm a self-diagnosed caffeine addict. I am dependent on caffeine...it helps me get through my day and if I don't have it before 10:00 a.m., I get a headache and my mood is not attractive. It used to be, I could drink a can of Pepsi (my preferred drink!) at 9:30 p.m. and within moments I could fall asleep. Yet now, if I drink it after 7:30 at night - I'm up for most of the night. Now I'm naturally a night owl - but with the onset of "old age", I'm not able to function during the following day - if I stay up too late...after 1:00 a.m. So this combo called for a change - so I've tried to limit the amount of and time of intake of any form of caffeine. I've not given it up - that would be a sad day. In addition, I try to be in bed by 10:15 - 10:30...usually reading or scanning facebook - but my body is starting the process of slowing down and getting a decent night of sleep. It's been amazing how well I sleep and how refreshed I am in the morning. I also just have more motivation in general. Not to mention, I think my clothes are fitting much better!
• Singleness ~ since Easter, I've really been struggling with the Single status. I'm not sure what has triggered this bout of struggle in my Singleness Adventure - but it's been pretty bad. No - those around me don't know I'm struggling...or at least I don't think they do. I've tried to continue on with life as is when I'm around friends, family or co-workers - but when it's just me...the tears are steadily falling , the questioning is occurring and the desire to share my life with someone else is painfully there. Usually these "low points" come only for a day or two - but this time it is lingering longer. So I'm currently praying for God to calm my anxious heart, to either fill the desire or remove it, and to help me to remain content on the path He's selected me to walk down...even though I'm scared that I'll be on this path alone, for the rest of my life. Prayer would be appreciated. Pity is not welcomed.

...and there you have it! Those are the updates in my developing story.

Simple Woman's Daybook...

Outside my window...a beautiful sunny Spring day!!

I am thinking...about how well I slept last night and feel today after a 25 min. walk around the neighborhood last night. I should make this a nightly habit.

I am thankful...there are only a few more weeks left of AWANA, and I'll have some extra free-time on Tuesday evenings.

From the learning rooms...reading some websites/blogs, etc. about growing a container garden. Villa de Megalicious is limited in green space...but I've always wanted a veggie and herb garden. A co-worker suggested a container garden. So bouncing the idea around.

From the kitchen...the kitchen has been fairly cool this week. Not much going on. So instead I'll share a recipe. All this thinking about a container garden has me thinking of one of my favorite salads to make...the variations are unlimited to this one!

Cucumber, Tomato & Red Onion Salad

Ingredients:
4 tomatoes, cut into 8 wedges
2 large cucumbers, peeled and sliced
1 large red onion, chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
juice of 1 fresh lime
salt to taste

Directions:
Mix the tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, cilantro, and lime juice together in a bowl. Season with salt to serve. (posted on http://www.allrecipes.com/)

I am wearing...jeans and a light sweater! Perfect outfit on a Spring Day.

I'm remembering...how God has provided in the past and will in the days to come.

I am creating...a list of flowers (perennials and annuals) that I want to plant this spring/summer. Went to Lowe's last night and purchased some creeping phlox and a few other perennials. I also noticed my lilies (my fav!) are starting to come through in full force, and a hydrangea is starting to bud too.

I am going...to participate in the MS Walk this Saturday at the Columbus Zoo!

I am hoping...to hear back from a job interview.

Around the house...working on getting the flower beds ready. So glad that the yard waste program starts again next week, I'm ready for my bags of fallen limbs, leaves, and dandelions to be gone!

One of my favorite things...dancing fountains. The fountains around my neighborhood were turned on last week. One is housed directly behind my place - so I can hear it as I go to sleep each night, while working in the kitchen or relaxing on the back patio.

On my mind...Ashley. My job situation. IBC during this time of change.

Noticing that...I'm missing my IBC family. For various reasons I've been away a lot lately - and I'm missing the fellowship.

Praying for...IBC Search Committee, a new job & patience while I wait, Pastor Sr.

A verse to share...
"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,
yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.”
Matt 6:26-29 (NASB)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Work, Transition Assistance Class (mentioned this service before in a previous post), Hayden's Home Opener Baseball game...let's go #3!, Prayer Meeting/Business Meeting @ IBC, Small Group Service Project, MS Walk, hopefully some time working outside, and I'm really looking forward to being back at IBC this Sunday.

A picture thought...















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You Only Get One Chance...

Well this isn't the original post. Something happened, and my original post has gone into the technology Bermuda Triangle. UGH!!! So I will try to recreate.




In recent weeks I've been reminded of the brevity of life. The saying "Life is Short"...has become more than real to me. I'm not sure why. It could be the death of my friend - a wife and mother of four small children - who died at 39 years old. The reality that an earthquake has the capability of suddenly ending the lives of thousands and sending them into eternity. The heart wrenching stories of coal miners ending their days work and being in the wrong spot at the right time for gases to cause an explosive blast so powerful that 25 have left this world instantly - one as young as 20 years old and another just 5 weeks from retirement to a job he's had for 30+ years. Or personally, it could be watching my Dad's health decline - he's not as strong as he once was and on occasion relays on a cane for support, his mind is becoming more forgetful and it's not as sharp...that reality brings emotions that are too hard to share.

But whatever the reason - this realization has been in the forefront of my mind for some time now. We are born, and on that day we are given a number - the number of days that we will be blessed to live on this earth, the number of days we have to love - to make an impact - to serve - to just live. Life is a miracle...it's a gift - we only get it once. So, I've learned a few things.

• I'm going to cheer as loud as I want for Emily at her volleyball games, and not worry about embarrassment to myself...she will know that I support her.
• I'm going to hug Hayden after his baseball game no matter how sweaty and dirty he may be, and not worry about my shirt sharing the same dirt or sweat...he will know that I love him unconditionally.
• I'm going to count it a blessing when Sophia calls me in the middle of the night to ask questions about braces - she needs re-assurance that it will be fine...she will know that I'll be there for her anytime day or night.
• I'm going to sit on the front porch for as long as I can listening to Ayana sing a song or tell stories, over and over again, and not worry for a moment about the to-do list that needs to be done...she will know that I value what she has to say.
• I'm going to allow Elijah to tell me all about his day (including what he had for lunch) and read books to me all night long if he wants...he will know that I care.
• I'm going to let Ashley practice on a new technique on my hair - it's just hair, it will grow back or we can change the color...she will know that I trust her.
• I'm not going to worry about being on every committee...time is valuable, why would I want to spend it all in meetings.
• I'm going to share and show Christ's love with those around me...and when necessary use my words to do so.
• I'm going to not sweat the small stuff, the big stuff or anything else in between - God already has it worked out.
• I'm going to take time to call or visit with my parents...they invested so much into me, it's my turn to give to them.
• I'm going to put only God before my family...they are my number one possession, and I didn't even have to pay for them! :)
• I'm going to say "I Love You", even if I don't get an "I Love You" in return.
• I'm going to realize it's okay to be embarrassed, to fail or to let others down - as long as I learn from it and become a better person in the end.
• I'm going to share my emotion - happy, sad, smiles, tears, words, hugs...it's shows I'm human, not perfect.
• I'm going to give back to the younger generations and invest in them...they will one day replace me and I want them to do a good job!
• I'm going to give when I can monetarily to investments that last for eternity - I can't take my money with me. But also not feel guilty if on occasion I treat myself to a pedicure or a new dress...I work hard for my money.
• I'm going to eat ice cream for dinner, and not feel bad about it...as long as I don't do it everyday! :)
• I'm going to slow down and spend time on a walk, sitting in the sun and just enjoying God's creation...some one is confined to a hospital room and longs to feel the sun on her face.
• I'm going to realize that structure, rules and order have it's place...but it's okay to not have them all of the time - because then you miss out on a special thing...LIFE!!

Erma Bombeck, one of my favorite authors, wrote these words when she found out that she had a fatal disease. Her words are true. I don't want to look back on my life and see that I waited for marriage, money, or for _______...only to realize I waited too long, and my chance is over. I'm only promised the moment I'm in right now, and I don't want regrets.

If I Had My Life to Live Over
Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching TV - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous"...more "I'm sorrys"...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

Life is short - you only get once chance...so make the most of it!!