Monday, May 10, 2010

A Cluttered Mind...

I know I've not been here for a while...and it's not that I don't want to share. It's that my mind is so full and cluttered these days that I can't get my thoughts in order enough to post an update, share a story or express my feelings that don't sound like a bunch of ramblings. So instead I thought I'd share a song that has been very close to my mind in the middle of all that I am experiencing.

Please continue to pray for me...my need of job is so heavy on my mind that it's continually there being tossed about - like a wave in the sea during a storm... thankfully I'm able to sleep - but I'm not sure how long that luxury will last. However, as soon as I wake up - no matter the time of day or night...the reality is there. I feel like I can't even go to the store to purchase food or pay for a tank of gas without first wondering if I'm making the right decision or if I should spend less. The worry of getting injured or sick without medical insurance - paralyzes me. The thought of not having enough money to pay for the basic needs of my household and life - are overwhelming and suffocating me. I know God will provide - it's just the waiting for Him to provide that I'm struggling with. I'm a rather patient person - I've waited for much longer than 5 months for most of "big" things that I have in my life - but all of those some things didn't have a deadline attached to it, they didn't have an expiration date...it's when a deadline is attached that I have trouble with waiting...and now with only 12 working days left of guaranteed employment...my body is being over taken by fear, worry and burden. I've been clinging to the verses that reveal His promise of provision and supply...it's what gets me out of bed each day. It's just making the practical part of me, rest in these promises. So please pray!!

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