Thanksgiving...

Well Thanksgiving 2008 has come and gone; however, I wanted to post some of the things I love about Thanksgiving Weekend...(in no particular order!)

1. IBC "Family Members" that come home.
2. Watching the Macy's Day Parade.
3. The Thornton Family Tradition of "I'm thankful for..." - those darn nieces and nephews always make me cry.
4. The wonderfully, delicious, mouthwatering bounty of FOOD!
5. Volunteering at the VOA Meal Prep - although this year I couldn't attend, since I had a cold (bummer).
6. Spending time with my family - both on Thanksgiving (Mom, Dad, Jenni and Kari @ Jenni's) and the Saturday after (which is when the Thornton/Knisley Family celebrates, so that we can ALL be there!!!)
7. Looking at the Black Friday ads.
8. Sleeping in on Black Friday - unless there is a really good deal, I'm not a fan of getting up before the sun to shop.
9. Two paid days off of work - I'm being honest here friends, not everyone gets it and I particularly like the idea!!!
10. Breakfast at Frisch's after the VOA meal prep with Mom, Dad, Jenni and Kari. No one is in a hurry and it's nice to just RELAX!!!
11. Putting the Christmas Card box out at IBC!!!
12. Christmas Season OFFICIALLY starts!!!

Happy Thanksgiving from my house to yours!!

Disclaimer

For some reason my posts have not been geting posted??? Ahh...technology. So I have re-posted them. They are "Cheesecake" (posted 11/10) and "Jenni" (posted 11/20). Be sure you take a minute to read them!

Jenni...

Jennifer Dawn Thornton

was born on November 20, 1977 to David and Carol Thornton.

She was their forth child and their second daughter. Right from the start she was on her very own time schedule, as she arrived two months early...yes I said early. That was the first and last time that she would be early! I personally don't remember a time in my life that she wasn't there - as I was only 18 months old when she entered my world. As little girls we shared pretty much everything - toys, clothes, bedrooms - if it could be shared, we shared - and this is where our foundation began. As little girls turned into teenagers the sharing continued, but it was more about life stuff - crushes, fears, plans, dreams, etc. As adult women we continue to share pretty much everything - there are only a few secrets between the two of us, and those secrets are just things you aren't supposed share. When I think of Jenni, I think of the saying...."God made us sisters, and love made us friends." Jenni is my BFF . She has seen me happy, silly goofy, and angry - and she continues to love me anyway. And the same is true for me with her.

As I look back on the last 31 years - I realize that Jenni and I have always been kind of the same, yet very much the opposite.

1. Jenni has the dark straight hair, while I had the blond curls (or Mad Curl disease - as I lovingly describe it!).
2. Jenni's features and skin tone are more Asian/American Indian like. Her eyes are slanted and almond shaped. One of the little girls she babysat while in college asked her if she was Mulan. But I think those features are what make her so beautiful.
3. Jenni has always been much smarter than I am when it comes to book smarts - while I was given the common sense and directional smarts. Jenni can administer chemotherapy to a small child with one hand, while writing a prescription in another, all while rattling off treatment options and their side effects. But she couldn't seem to find her way through a town that she's lived in for 31 years and is always calling asking for directions - even to places she's been to MANY times, and was surprised that a frozen turkey could not thaw overnight!
4. Jenni is much more outspoken in public, while I prefer to speak out more in private.
5. Jenni prefers to ask forgiveness rather than permission, while I prefer permission first.
6. Jenni isn't really into the details (most of the time) and would just prefer you get right to the facts. While I want the details and the facts.
7. Jenni's definition of "how much longer" is "oh in a few minutes or in a little while (which usually means about 30 min. or so)", while my definition to how much longer is the exact number of minutes I anticipate it to be.
8. Jenni is on her own clock and gets there when she gets there, while I attempt to be on time - very rarely early, often on time, but more often usually within 10 min. of the time I'm supposed to be there. Our Dad, says "Even while she is still living, she is known as the late Jenni!"
9. Jenni has always (especially in High School) attracted the boys, as potential dating material, while I was more the boys friend and buddy. People are always looking to "hook" Jenni up with someone, while for me it's usually I'm praying he comes along. Even at our recent High School Homecoming game - some of the guys we graduated with stopped their conversation and watched as she walked by. I stood back and thought - she still has it, she still gets their attention. Even though Jenni wouldn't give any of them the time of day.
10. Jenni usually makes friends quicker than I do, as I have to test out the waters and become comfortable with someone.
11. Jenni very rarely cares what others think about her, while I often put too much obsession in to the whole situation.
12. Jenni is a perfectionist, while I just obsess about the details being perfect.
13. I'm a planner and Jenni is a plan follower. She often says, "Okay Meg, so what is the plan?"
14. We are both list makers. But usually she asks me to be the person who makes her list.
15. We both love working with children. But she has a passion for kids who are sick and dying of horrible diseases.
16. We both single, and hope to one day find our soul mates.
17. We both came home to the home our parents still call home at 228 S. Roys Avenue. But now have our own pieces of this world to call our home.

Each of these things makes up the person we celebrate today - the person I call my best friend. None of them are things I'd really want to change, although some days it would be nice - but then I think those are the thing that make her Jenni and I love her just the way she is.

So today I want to thank God for and wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister and best friend...Jenni!! I'm so thankful that God has given me another year to celebrate her life!

Happy Birthday Jenni! I love you!

In the grips of fear...

Fear - (noun) a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. (verb) to regard with fear; be afraid of.

This week I've lived in fear...fear of my security being removed from me and a violation of my body. In recent weeks some news has broke in Cbus that is rather alarming and should be handled with much caution. The criminal acts are towards women who are either single or at the time alone in their homes, and most are happening in the early morning hours as the ladies are a sleep in their bed. The criminal acts have been occurring since June. There have been a total of 7 attack since June, but 5 of them have occurred since September...therefore they are becoming more frequent. Two (4 and 7) of the attacks have occurred near Villa de Megalicious and I'm now in heightened security mode. I guess you could say I'm at Orange level when using the Homeland Security Scale of Safety - bordering very close to Red. The most recent incident occurred within walking distance (10 min. tops) of my piece of this world. Of course, my friends and family are very aware of this and are concerned about my safety. I've had friends volunteer to follow me home, offers for family to come sleep at my place, and other very generous types of reaching out. I do have a security system that is now ALWAYS on - not that it wasn't before, but I'm more aware of it being set. I call individuals when I arrive at home, even if it just coming home after work. On Wednesday to "increase" my security - as if an alarm isn't enough - I went and borrowed a bat from Hayden. This bat doesn't leave my side while I'm in the house - if I go to the bathroom it goes to the bathroom, and it even joins me in my bed as a I sleep at night. I'm going this afternoon to purchase pepper spray for the car, my purse, and my bedroom. I'm also going to purchase a whistle to add to my key chain. I'm also looking into self defense classes. All of these things just so I'm prepared now or in the future. None of these resources are bad to have on hand, should the time it be necessary. HOWEVER...I HATE being scared. I HATE that I can't feel safe in my own home. I HATE that I have to invest money into my safety and this person is just freely roaming the streets. I HATE that I can't get a good night of rest. I HATE that this one person is controlling the lives of women all across this city. I HATE that the other night I sat on my couch for over an hour trying to convince myself that it was okay to go upstairs, that I would be safe and that nothing would happen. Fear has it's grips on me. I have never once felt insecure or in danger in the entire time that I've been out on my own (11 years) and now I'm so scared I can barely take a shower or put my trash outside without being afraid. I'm afraid to walk past a window or door, in fear that I might see him - as he is stalking his victims to get their routine down. TRUST me when I say that I've prayed about this - asking God to allow me to remember who is in control, to remove my fear, and to rest in my ultimate security system...and each day it is getting a little better. But I'm worried to put my guard down, to get comfortable again. Because what if I let my guard down and something happens. Fear is an ugly creature - a creature I've never really dealt with before. I thought that I had experienced Fear, but oh no - it is nothing like what I'm dealing with right now and I want it to leave.

Cheesecake...

It is amazing how the smallest of topics can enlighten you on someone's past.

Last Friday, just like clock work, my boss (Mike) stopped by my desk. This is a daily event - any time between 8:45 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. He stops just to see what is going on with work, life, etc. It's really nice that he takes the time to just check in - the conversation is usually about 5 min. long and then both of us are back to the "To Do" list. Every Friday Mike's greeting is the same, "Hey Megan...any plans for the weekend?". In the year and half that I've worked at DE, it's never been any different! So as I always do, I filled him in on my plans for last weekend. I told him about a dinner party I was having on Saturday evening. He knows my love of cooking and baking, and asked if I would be preparing the entire meal. I said that that I was and how much I was looking forward to cooking for more than just myself. Like most men, Mike enjoys food and this peaked his interest. He asked what I was preparing and I gave him the run down of the menu. He asked about the dessert (again a typical man question - they always want to know about dessert!), and I explained that I was still debating about dessert. The menu had an Italian theme, and I really wanted to make cheesecake (my most favorite!). However, two of the guests didn't care for cheesecake (unbelievable!), and I didn't want to make two separate desserts! Then all of a sudden the conversation changed from the menu and our plans for the weekend to cheesecake. "Oh, do you make your own cheesecake?" he asked. "Yes, I love to make cheesecake." He explained how his youngest daughter (13-14 years old) loves cheesecake and loves to bake, and how he was considering doing a Father/Daughter night with her to make cheesecake. How sweet! He went on to ask several questions about the special pan (as he referred to it) and where he could locate the special pan, and if it was difficult. He then asked if I'd ever made a certain type of cheesecake - one with Ricotta cheese. I told him I had not, and that I had actually never seen or heard of such a type of cheesecake. He then went on to rave about a lady that he knew in Houston (where he lived before moving to Powell 3 yrs. ago) who made the best Ricotta cheesecake. He said that she would always make them and bring them to their Bible Study.

Bible Study? Did he just say Bible Study? I think he just said Bible Study? Mike has never mentioned going to church, let alone attending a Bible study on a regular basis. I wish now I would have not been so dumb founded and asked more about the Bible Study, but I didn't. But the door is now cracked and I can try to bring it up again, or maybe he will feel a little more open to discussing church/Bible study again. He is very aware that I attend church and that I'm active in the children's ministries, but has NEVER mentioned anything about his church.

Mike quickly ended the conversation asking me if we could talk more later about cheesecake, I told him sure thing, I'm here if you have any questions. But deep down I'm hoping we talk more about this Bible Study!

Amazing how God used some thing as simple as Cheesecake to open this door! Just goes to show you that you must always be ready...unlike me!

Silver Bells...

"...soon it will be Christmas Day!".

Silver Bells is my most favorite Christmas Song (my favorite Christmas Carol is The First Noel), and I heard Silver Bells today on the radio for the first time this year!!! One of the radio stations in Columbus is already doing continuous Christmas (at least on the weekends right now). I of course am loving it, being the Christmas Enthusiast that I am. I heard Silver Bells and I turned it up to sing right along, and then the tears came. "The tears came?" you are asking yourself.

Well there is a story behind Silver Bells - as it relates to me. Growing up I had a very special Aunt, her names was Joanne. However as kids often do with names, my brother couldn't get Aunt Jo to come out correctly and it came out as Aunt Ho - and to this day that is the name she is called. I adored my Aunt Ho and she adored me...very much. I loved going to her house. Every other weekend I would go and spend the entire weekend with her and my Uncle De. In the summer I would spend 2-3 weeks in a row with them. Funny part is...they only lived about six streets away from my home. However, I LOVED, going to their house. I especially loved going at Christmas time. Aunt Ho was a Christmas Nut like myself - I think probably more so...therefore, I get this honestly! Her house would magically turn into a winter wonderland. She wrapped empty boxes, bricks and anything else she could think of to make it appear as if there were packages all over the house. Her tree was silver aluminum and each year she would have a different color themed ornaments - some years blue, some red and some green. They had an electronic bird that would sit inside and make chirping noises - it was very unique. My Aunt Ho was the best cook - everything she made was wonderful, but my most favorite Christmas treat was her fudge...oh what I would do to have a piece of it right now!!! Each year the JC Penny's Christmas catalog would arrive and she would give the catalog to my siblings and I. We would each take our turn to mark the items that we wanted, and whatever was marked was sure to be under that tree on Christmas afternoon. Christmas was a HUGE deal to her, and I loved being at her house during the Christmas season. Each Christmas night I would stay the night to enjoy my new treasures all by myself. However, each year Santa left some extra presents upstairs for me, my Uncle would go and bring them down to me, and I'd have another mini Christmas. My Aunt would play records (yes the vinyl ones) on the record player all the time during the Christmas season and she would always tell me how Silver Bells was her favorite. She would listen to it over and over again. I just loved listening to the songs play over and over again. However God's plan was that Aunt Ho and I would only celebrate 7 Christmas afternoons/evenings together. On July 5, 1984 she had a stroke and massive heart attack, and that afternoon she slipped into eternity. I'm not sure if she was a believer...I would like to think she was, but she and my Uncle didn't attend church - unless one of us was performing; therefore, I'm very uncertain about her salvation. July 5, 1984 was a day that my life changed forever - it was the first time someone that I loved had passed away. My sisters and I were the ones who found her lying on her kitchen floor moaning. She had not passed away, she was still very much alive - but it was a scary sight for three little girls ages 8, 6 and 5. That next school year I was in Third Grade and I struggled greatly in school - I couldn't focus on my work and I had a hard time making friends. I missed her so much. I missed going and visiting her and my uncle. Because of what I saw that day - I was never able to go back to that house and not picture her lying on the linoleum floor. I never again spent the night in that house.

So now as a 32 year old women I love the song Silver Bells - it has been my favorite for many years. It takes me back to images, smells and memories that I will always hold dear in my heart. But it reminds me of this person that I loved greatly and I miss greatly...even after all this time. I often wonder what life would be like if she were still with us. How spoiled and bratty I would have become, as she gave me every material possession I wanted. She loved me (and my siblings) VERY much and giving us material items was how she best displayed that love. In a lot of ways I am very similar to Aunt Ho...which is both good and bad. Then that makes me think of the Aunt that I am today. I love Ashley, Hayden, Emily, Sophia, Elijah and Ayana as if there were my own children. I often tell Wendy and Kari that I can't even begin to imagine how much they love them - when I love them SO much just being the Aunt! I recently have begun to realize that my dreams of one day having my own children are quickly leaving the realm of reality. I'm realizing that those six precious lives (and those of Jenni's babies one day) maybe the only lives I get to 100% love and influence as if they are my own. They will be my legacy - they will carry on the traditions that I've created and carried on. I want to give them wonderful memories. I want them to think of times we shared together reading childhood books, walking to the park, going to a movie, making cookies, watching baseball games, playing board games, just hanging out, trips to get school supplies or just general shopping, going on vacations and all the hundreds of other wonderful things have done and will get to do in the future. I want them to remember always that I love, support and root for them with my entire being. I want to give them material things - but more importantly I want to provide them with spiritual and emotional gifts. I want to be a Godly example to them and for them to know that I pray for them all the time. I want to be the person they can come ask those questions that you're not so sure you can ask your parents - but you need an adult to talk about. I want to invest in their lives so deeply, that one day after God has called me Home - they will turn up the radio to sing and remember when they hear Silver Bells for the first time that year.

Dear God - Thank you for the love my Aunt gave to me when I was such a little girl, and how I can still remember that love and impact - even though she has been gone for many years. Thank you even more for allowing me to be called Aunt Meggie (or Meg by the older ones) and all that the "title" requires, allows and entitles me to - especially the endless hugs and kisses! God I pray that I will be the positive role model that you want me to be to these precious lives. God being Aunt Meggie may be the closest I get to "raising" a child, and if that is your plan, I ask that you help me as I walk down that road of realization and to provide me peace and understanding.

Music...

Music has a unique ministry with me - as it does some of you. There are times when songs bring a smile to my face and allow me to celebrate, at times tears to my eyes as I mourn or grieve, and often songs that bring peace and comfort to my spirit. When I get a song in my mind - it stays there and it won't quickly leave. I think about it over the course of the day and sing it multiple times in my mind - sometimes out loud and some times I even start to hum it. Well today was music day - as soon as I woke up I needed the ministry that music brings to me to come and minister today. As many Christians in America - I woke up this morning with a very heavy heart. The outcome that I wanted and prayed for, didn't occur. The votes were in and my guy didn't win. Fear filled my mind. Anger quickly took hold. My heart was heavy and I did the only thing I could do - I went right to the Father, and laid it down at His feet. As a Christian I have the right to be angry, but I needed to watch my temper, my words, the way I carried myself and my attitude - I needed to reflect Christ in my disappointment. Talk about hard! But as I was getting ready and hearing the media praise Barack Obama, I began to get more and more upset. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had to decide right then and there that I was not going to allow Satan to enjoy my anger or fear. I was not going to let him have control of my attitude and risk losing my testimony with co-workers - instead of taking the opportunity to be a testimony. "So many watching, so much at stake." It just rang over and over and over in my mind. So as I often do when I need to release pent up emotions I started to sing. The first song that came to mind was Amy Grant's song "God is in Control" - that was a great reminder. Then it turned more into a plea session with God as the old Hymn put it..."oh Lord Jesus, how long? How long? Ere we shout the glad song...Christ Returnth". As humans life gets hard and we are instantly ready for the Lord to return right then. Then it was the childhood song of "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Won't let Satan blow it out - I'm gonna let it shine." Back and forth all day long these songs were filling my mind as I heard stories on the radio, read Facebook postings, read e-mails and stories on the Internet. I finally had to just stop listening, reading and talking about it. But the songs gave me peace, gave me assurance, and kept me in check. Then tonight at church we song the great hymn "How Firm a Foundation". As I song the words - peace was falling on me, and I realized that this morning I didn't totally lay it at the Father's feet, so by the conclusion of the song, my burden and pain about last night was resting at my Savior's feet. I realized (again) that He is in control, He is my firm foundation, He is going to return (in His time, not mine) and until then I need to let my light shine - allowing no one or thing to blow it out.

Thank you Lord, for the gift of music!