Recently, I've felt like I was walking alone in this life...I've felt like life was passing me by, and I was all alone with no one to share my journey. The every day stuff, the highs the lows, the funny stuff on TV, etc.
I especially felt this "aloneness" last weekend. Two of my dearest and closest friends shared WONDERFUL, EXCITING news!! Oh, I was so happy for them - that I wanted to climb to the highest mountain and scream the good news...I wanted share it with someone. As I sat at a table bubbling over with joy and excitement, I watched my friends pull out their cell phone to send a text message or call their special someone and sharing the breaking news. I sat there wondering who could I text, who could I call, I want to share...and yet I had no one. I continued to sit there smiling on the outside, but beyond heartbroken on the inside. PLEASE DON'T get me wrong - I wasn't having a "woe is me party", nor was I jealous of their exciting news. I was just wanted someone to share the news with - this time and the next time...good or bad. Just someone to share the moments of life that are happening.
As I left my friends that evening, I was so happy - rejoicing in the blessing that God has given to my friends and the wonderful evening I had just experienced. Yet, so broken inside...I must be honest, the ride home was long and I continued to think about the current situation. I cried myself to sleep that night because I was alone with no one at home wanting to hear the wonderful evening I had just experienced or no one to call to share my news.
Please know that I love and cherish the relationships that I do have. But those who are truly single (meaning those who don't have that special someone - whether married or not) may understand where I'm coming from here. I have several WONDERFULLY amazing friends. Girlfriends who are like my sisters, Sisters who are my best girlfriends. Guy friends who I love like my brother, and a brother who is one of my greatest loves. Yet each of them have that one person they call they consider their "significant other", and I don't. It hurts and I don't understand why I'm missing out.
As the week has gone on, I've begun to look for some books or a Bible Study that might help in healing and dealing with this open wound. As I've mentioned before music has a way of ministering to me. I often pull up YouTube and search songs about any random theme or genre. Tonight as I was randomly searching, I came across the video below. I've heard the song and sung it (to myself) several times in my car. Tonight, the words pierced my heart and mind (again). Reminding (again), I must claim the truth in the words of this song. And while He isn't the tangible person, that I'm praying and waiting to come along, that I can call on the phone or reach out to hold..He is here with me, never leaving me, and always waiting for me to share with Him my heart, dreams and life. I must remember that with Jesus by my side...I will never walk alone!
1 comment:
I'll have to listen tonight but the post was like you were writing my thoughts!!! I am one of those truely single people you were talking about and the stuff going on is really hard but I know that with Christ, I am not alone and won't go through this alone.
God Bless,
Karen
P.S. the email you sent goes both ways!!!!
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