This song has continually played in my head this week. It became very special to me around the time my sister Kari came returned back to Columbus with her three small children, and admitted that she had been in an abusive relationship for almost 5 years - without any of us knowing. The days ahead were filled with roads that our family had never walked down, and each hour of our life was full of ups and downs.
As news during this last week was made known to me - this song came back to me. It's been a week in which I've seen Brothers & Sisters in Christ receive news like..."the treatment isn't working"...."hospice is going to be called in to help"...."effective April 10 your job will be eliminated". While I wasn't the person to directly receive this news - the news has dropped me to my knees more than once crying out to my God on behalf of my friends. Bible verses and songs have filled my mind - as I don't want to allow the "what ifs" to take root. During recent weeks, as situations have come into my life (whether directly or indirectly) I've asked God what it is that He wants me to learn from this situation. Not to make it all about me - but I truly believe that we each have lessons we need to learn when those around us are given the instructions to walk down the easy and hard roads of life. Well I've not yet learned exactly what my lesson is for these situations - I know that I'm learnng more and more to have a true realization that, I can't live A day without Him.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Psalm 119:105...
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
To this day, I'm afraid of the dark. I still, as a 32 year old women, MUST sleep with a light on. Total darkness terrifies me, and brings no rest to me.
The verse above and the song below, have been favorites of mine for many years. The truth and comfort that are found in them bring comfort and peace. This past week, as some may know, an announcement about our recent organizational structure was released. Finding your name on an organizational chart is nothing shy of relief - because it means you still have a place in that organization. So when the information was released, via e-mail, I looked only for my name. I read through each chart (7 total), and I read through them for a second time. Neither time finding my name. I was not surprised, rather confused. Why wasn't I notified of this sooner? Why was this information released, without someone warning me that my name wouldn't be included? I attended the meeting following the release of the e-mail, and still received no further explanation or clarification. The conclusion of the meeting was at three o'clock, and I tried to make a b-line to my boss' office. I arrived and found the door closed with him on a conference call. The "news" of my name not being on the organizational chart - became the buzz of the office. While I tried to avoid other co-workers, SEVERAL were asking about me and my future. I had no answers for them...and I myself had questions. 5:00 came, I decided it was best for me to leave. Still without any answers. I still wasn't worried or concerned, I continued to remind myself of what I've been clinging to over the last several weeks...I know who is in charge and I know he will take care and provide. On the drive home, I quickly went to my card file of bible verses I had learned over the years. I was finding comfort and light for this dark path that I was walking down. Unanswered questions are like darkness...you have no direction? You aren't sure where to turn or if you should turn. But, again, God's Word was shining some light on my path and allowing me to have peace and not worry. I slept well on Wednesday evening, and was ready to face my boss that next morning. But again the door was closed and he was on back to back conference calls. All day long different co-workers would stop and ask if I had any updates. Finally at 5:00 p.m. - 27 1/2 hours after the announcement had been released - I was finally standing in Mike's office. He informed me that he was made aware this "piece of information" earlier in the day and that my name not being included was an oversight, and that the chart would be updated. I left the office thanking God for giving me the peace and grace that I needed. While I'm not 100% sold on the answer I was given - I'm going to take it for what it's worth and just praise the Lord that I continue to have a job. During those 27 1/2 hours I tried very had to remain positive and have a Godly attitude - but Satan was very much there trying to get me to crumble. But I wasn't going to let him get a foothold - I wasn't going to let him take me down that easy. The Bible verse continued to come back - don't grow weak in well doing, for in due time you shall reap the harvest...but my God shall supply all my needs...this is the day that Lord has made let us rejoice....but He can do exceeding and abundantly more that I can imagine...fear thou not for I am with thee...and several others.
I'm so thankful that when I don't have the answers and I don't know which way to turn, I can go to God's Word and find direction, answers, contentment and peace. On days like Wednesday and Thursday - I'm reminded of how blessed and thankful I am to have a personal relationship with the creator of this universe...if He speak it and it happens, then I know that He will can and will provide for me. Days like Wednesday and Thursday - also leave me with a great passion for the lost - because HOW, HOW, HOW can they get through any day - let alone a difficult day or days -without Christ in their life? The world so needs the lamp unto their feet and the light unto their path.
To this day, I'm afraid of the dark. I still, as a 32 year old women, MUST sleep with a light on. Total darkness terrifies me, and brings no rest to me.
The verse above and the song below, have been favorites of mine for many years. The truth and comfort that are found in them bring comfort and peace. This past week, as some may know, an announcement about our recent organizational structure was released. Finding your name on an organizational chart is nothing shy of relief - because it means you still have a place in that organization. So when the information was released, via e-mail, I looked only for my name. I read through each chart (7 total), and I read through them for a second time. Neither time finding my name. I was not surprised, rather confused. Why wasn't I notified of this sooner? Why was this information released, without someone warning me that my name wouldn't be included? I attended the meeting following the release of the e-mail, and still received no further explanation or clarification. The conclusion of the meeting was at three o'clock, and I tried to make a b-line to my boss' office. I arrived and found the door closed with him on a conference call. The "news" of my name not being on the organizational chart - became the buzz of the office. While I tried to avoid other co-workers, SEVERAL were asking about me and my future. I had no answers for them...and I myself had questions. 5:00 came, I decided it was best for me to leave. Still without any answers. I still wasn't worried or concerned, I continued to remind myself of what I've been clinging to over the last several weeks...I know who is in charge and I know he will take care and provide. On the drive home, I quickly went to my card file of bible verses I had learned over the years. I was finding comfort and light for this dark path that I was walking down. Unanswered questions are like darkness...you have no direction? You aren't sure where to turn or if you should turn. But, again, God's Word was shining some light on my path and allowing me to have peace and not worry. I slept well on Wednesday evening, and was ready to face my boss that next morning. But again the door was closed and he was on back to back conference calls. All day long different co-workers would stop and ask if I had any updates. Finally at 5:00 p.m. - 27 1/2 hours after the announcement had been released - I was finally standing in Mike's office. He informed me that he was made aware this "piece of information" earlier in the day and that my name not being included was an oversight, and that the chart would be updated. I left the office thanking God for giving me the peace and grace that I needed. While I'm not 100% sold on the answer I was given - I'm going to take it for what it's worth and just praise the Lord that I continue to have a job. During those 27 1/2 hours I tried very had to remain positive and have a Godly attitude - but Satan was very much there trying to get me to crumble. But I wasn't going to let him get a foothold - I wasn't going to let him take me down that easy. The Bible verse continued to come back - don't grow weak in well doing, for in due time you shall reap the harvest...but my God shall supply all my needs...this is the day that Lord has made let us rejoice....but He can do exceeding and abundantly more that I can imagine...fear thou not for I am with thee...and several others.
I'm so thankful that when I don't have the answers and I don't know which way to turn, I can go to God's Word and find direction, answers, contentment and peace. On days like Wednesday and Thursday - I'm reminded of how blessed and thankful I am to have a personal relationship with the creator of this universe...if He speak it and it happens, then I know that He will can and will provide for me. Days like Wednesday and Thursday - also leave me with a great passion for the lost - because HOW, HOW, HOW can they get through any day - let alone a difficult day or days -without Christ in their life? The world so needs the lamp unto their feet and the light unto their path.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Work Update
Work is still a constant uncertainty these days. We seem to have meetings that update us on that fact that there is nothing new to update us on and that more updates should be available in a week or two. Great...more waiting!! However, this uncertainty has allowed me SEVERAL opportunities to share my faith with my co-workers. Being the Executive Assistant, many feel that I have the inside scoop...well this isn't true. However, it never ceases to amuse me how creative and sly people will be to ask questions or dig for answers. The words, "I find out when you find out" have become a part of my conversation...daily!! Often people start to share how worried they are and ask if I'm worried. I've decided that I'm going to take the opportunity to share my faith...so my usual response goes something like this "the uncertainty isn't an easy situation to be in and I wish this wasn't my reality. However, I personally know who is in charge, I know he will take care of me and my needs. So I'm just going to let him have control." The response back usually is, "Yeah, Mike (my boss) is a great guy and I'm sure he'll take good care of you." Then I smile and tell them, I'm not referring to Mike - rather I'm referring to God. Some have told me it's great that I have that faith, some of have just walked away and others have started to ask a few questions. This whole situation has been a great opportunity to share my testimony. I have a co-worker and a semi-friend (meaning we are very close at work, often have lunch - but rarely see each other outside of work or work functions)...her name is Laura. Laura is my age and we have many things in common...we are both single and are currently without a potential dating material, we started working at DE within two weeks of each other, we both adore our nieces and nephews, we both love our birthdays, we both love to cook and bake, and we both enjoy baseball (only a month until Opening Day!!). Laura to my knowledge is not a christian - or at least she does not have evidence in her of being a christian. In recent weeks, Laura has expressed to me how worried she is about losing her job, and how if she loses her job she will also lose her house. We have spent hours (not in row) talking about this subject, and each time I try to remain positive, hoping that I'll show her through my words and actions where my faith lays. Recently her brother and his family have started attending a church. Laura went last week for her niece & nephew's baptism and we were able to discuss some of the things that happened...including what a total immersion baptism symbolizes. I asked if she thought she'd go back...she didn't say yes, but she didn't say no. I know the Holy Spirit is working in her...she continues to come to me to find peace about everything going on in her life. If this situation will bring Laura to a saving knowledge or back to a relationship with Christ, it will be worth it. I pray daily for Laura to have a soft heart, open ears and mind, and the desire to keep coming back. I daily pray that I will have a positive attitude, the right words to say at that right time, and that I'll take the opportunities...not just with Laura.
I'm told there should be a meeting this week, that has more details and direction. I'm hoping my name has found it's way in a box on the organizational chart...and will remain there for a while. We'll see what this week holds...God is in control and nothing will come into my life that does not first pass through his hands. How wonderful it is to rest on this promise!!!
I'm told there should be a meeting this week, that has more details and direction. I'm hoping my name has found it's way in a box on the organizational chart...and will remain there for a while. We'll see what this week holds...God is in control and nothing will come into my life that does not first pass through his hands. How wonderful it is to rest on this promise!!!
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