Stillness

Psalms 46:10a "Be STILL, and KNOW that I am God..."

Being still is something I struggle with...I like to continually be doing something and often multi-tasking. However, 2009 has taught me that always being busy and not enjoying the stillness isn't what is required of us. Each year in late October and through November, I begin a process of self-evaluation and prayer regarding my ministry responsibilities at IBC and how they will continue into the next year. I feel this process is only fair to my ministry roles, myself and most importantly God. During my years at IBC(31 to be exact), I've been involved in MANY ministries...especially and mainly during my adulthood. I LOVE to serve people, to show compassion on them and use the gifts/abilities God has graciously given to me. In addition, I have a hard time saying "no". This has always been an area where I have weakness, and unfortunately often those around me knew that - so they asked me to serve.

However, last year (2008) as I began my self evaluation - I discovered something, something that I didn't realize was there or should I say not there. There was a distraction, I was tired, I was overwhelmed. At this time I was involved in over 12 different ministries. I was stretched thin. My schedule was FULL all of the time and I wasn't being STILL. I realized that I was coming to church because I had a responsibility or meeting before, during or after a service. I was just making it happen and playing the part. I wasn't backsliding - God taught me a lot in 2008 and I was growing, I just had my priorities out of line. I was just in need of an alignment - I was stuck in the rut and I needed out. As I discovered my ugly truth - I was embarrassed and ashamed. How could I hold titles as Missions Committee Member and T.E.A.C.H. Team Coordinator - and not have my priorities together enough to make Christ and my relationship with Him my main focus when walking through the doors of IBC. In addition to my spiritual life, my personal and emotional life was hurting. I was up until all hours of the night getting laundry done or working on other household chores, and my mind was so full that I couldn't just rest. Just to make it all happen. This wasn't fair - on so many levels. So after much prayer and consideration - I removed some (not all) items from my list for 2009. Some of them were hard to remove - Missions Committee Member...I love learning about and meeting new Missionaries, and Choir Member...I love to sing (I can't carry a tune in a bucket - but I love to sing). But God was showing me, telling me and begging me to do as Ps. 46:10a says "Be STILL, and KNOW that I am God"...he wanted me to return to making Him my focus for going to IBC - not because of a meeting or obligation. As 2009 started I really struggled with having to tell people I wouldn't be in my "role" anymore and with the fact that I had more time on my hands - I felt guilty, like I wasn't using my time accordingly. Although I soon learned that it was nice to be able to come home and focus on laundry, cleaning, just relaxing or spending more time with God in His Word. I was (and still do) enjoy the extra 15-20 min. on Sunday mornings to slow down and get my heart ready for worship. In general, I was soon finding myself to not be so rushed, to be able to relax and to draw closer to God.

The extra time in the evenings has allowed me to take on some additional opportunities - every now and again. I'm volunteering as a Special Events Coordinator for a local High School's Booster Association - and I'm really enjoying that opportunity, as it's not a huge time commitment and I get to use my organizational/planning skills in a secular realm. In addition - I've been able to minister in a practical way to those around me through food...one of my passions. A few years ago I started a ministry - "Meg's Meal Ministry". This ministry isn't one that's listed on the IBC annual report, and it's not one that too many people are even aware exists. It was "created" during a time when I was really struggling with not having a family of my own, and that God opened my eyes to this practical needs ministry. God has given me a love and ability to cook/bake - I just didn't understand why He would allow me to have this gift - if He didn't allow me to use it to fed a family - my own family. After a few days of grumbling and complaining to God - God in His loving way showed me that I can use this gift to minister to my family members who don't live in my home, with members of my IBC family, neighbors and co-workers. There were people all around me who were hurting, healing, sick, lonely and just in need of some encouragement. Food is a great way to minister to people. He reminded me of the verse that says..."when you were hungry, I fed you". So over the past 3-4 years, as God has laid someone or a family on my heart - I have prepared a meal for them. Some are people who I knew were going through a rough patch, experiencing a sickness/illness, or just needed some encouragement - and others God gives me their name and I have no idea of the need. Whoever it is I contact them to let them know that a meal would be in the IBC refrigerator, that I would be dropping something off to their house, or that I would be placing something in the work refrigerator for them. Often it's a meal that is ready to go into the oven, or the crock-pot just needs turned on - for whatever day that week that works for them. It's simple, is very much behind the scenes (where I'm most comfortable) and yet it's a way of showing Christ's love in a practical way (I love practical) - and I LOVE doing this for people. This year - I was able to encourage a family who had a "not so pleasant" doctor's appointment to attend, and I knew that dinner would be the last thing they wanted to think about - so while they were meeting with the doctoer - dinner was cooking in the crock-pot and ready when they got home. I (along with many others) helped a friend going through chemo and radiation, and again two other times after very important surgeries - so that neither she nor her husband would have to worry about dinner for their family. I was able to make a meal for a friend who needed some encouragement and who actually used it for her son's birthday dinner - as the meal I made, just so happened to be his favorite (who knew? God knew!). I was able to be a testimony to a non-believing co-worker who had a baby. I made dinner for two friends who were recovering from delivering babies and another during her recovery from out-patient surgery. I used it to minister to friends as we traveled to a ladies retreat and enjoyed a soup lunch along the side of the road. I'm looking forward to blessing one of the teens at IBC with his favorite dish, as he recovers from surgery later this month. These are just a few of the ways God has used this ministry this year. He's used it more this year than in any other year. And I can't help but believe it's because this year I was being STILL - slowing down, sitting back, listening to the needs of others, looking at those around me, seeing the need and following God's leading. What a blessing it is to "Be STILL and know that HE is God".