The True Meaning of Christmas...

A Soldier's Silent Night -

A special thank you to the American Soliders - past and present...you've given us a gift that extends well beyond Christmas - FREEDOM!

Merry Christmas to all those currently serving to keep the gift alive!

Failing...

I was never, nor will I ever be, an all "A" student! Super duper to all you out there who are! Two gold stars for you! However, I was a faithful "B" or "C" student - I worked very hard to get those grades, and my parents knew it...so they never pushed me to get straight "A" - but they did encourage me to do my best, and if they knew I could get an "A"...they gently nudged me that way. However, I never wanted to see a "D" on my report card - and most definitely never an "F". Thankfully, I never saw either! Because to me those were failing, and I've always been afraid of failing. Which is why I'm not really one to be the first one on the dance floor, to be the first to share, and you'd never see me play a sport. It's not because I don't like them - it's because I was afraid I'd fail. I've always been one to have many great ideas - but I'm too afraid to try...for instance, I've always dreamed of having my own business but I never have...because,what if I fail?

However right now I feel like I'm failing, and I'm so discouraged. I'm so angry right now. Those who don't know me well probably don't see it - but those who do...know I'm struggling. Someone told me earlier this year that I needed to be more transparent, to show people that I struggle. I don't like to do that - it shows I'm weak and that I have failures. But actually it only shows I'm human. So hear we go...

Recently, I baked a cake from scratch for my sister's birthday - and this cake was the detail that sent my heart and mind full force into failure mode. My sister wanted a yellow cake with chocolate icing. I thought "Done!". I can handle this - I've done it several times. Cake & Icing from scratch - no problem! (Although from scratch was not what she required) Since I didn't have a yellow cake recipe I was set on making - I searched for the perfect cake. She kept telling me a box mix is just fine. "NO! That's boring!" (those who know me - know I thoroughly enjoy making everything from scratch). So I found the recipe> I studied it. Read comments about it and adjusted my recipe to match some of the suggestions. I made the cake - the batter was a little runny, but it was still cake batter consistency. It looked and tasted delish in batter form. The cake baked at just the right amount of time, and looked perfect! As they cooled I made the Chocolate Fudge icing! Soon the cooled cake was iced. Everything looked perfect. However later on when it was time to eat the cake - I realized something wasn't right. I could barely get the candles in the cake. I'm serious when I say I had to shove them into the cake. I began laughing outside - but inside I was dying...I was crying, how embarrassing - I FAILED. I wanted this to be perfect for my sister, who does so much for me, and this cake was hard...like as a brick, not like hard to make. Finally I got the candles into the cake. We turned the lights off and sang. And then it was time to cut into this cake. It was solid - I mean not a crumb came off this cake and it stood perfectly still during transition from platter to plate. It looked horrible. It tasted even worse - it was solid and you couldn't really swallow it. I continued to laugh - because I knew if I stopped laughing I would burst into tears. I held it together for the rest of the celebration. But once I hit the car - hours later - the tears came. Okay so I know you are probably thinking - "wow, that's a little emotional over cake". But you see it wasn't the cake, exactly, it was a combination of many things that have led up to that cake. I feel like in so many areas of my life - I'm starting to see where I've failed, and where I'm failing. I'm crushed. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm mad. I feel I've failed in many things...but the two I'm struggling with right now are...

As a friend I've failed - I love my friends. It takes me a long time before I will call someone my friend. Because I have to learn to trust a person. In reality - I only have a few true friends, and I have MANY close acquaintances. My friends are my third layer of my foundation...God, Family and Friends. Since I'm older than most of my friends...I try to be an encouragement to them. I try to be an example to them. I try to always be there for them. I try to remember things in their life. Like...a big sister. However, I'm finding out that in my approach I'm failing my friends, because apparently they feel as though they can't be real with me. Within the last year, I've learned some things about my friends that aren't necessarily things I would do with my life. Does it make them wrong and me right - NO. Doesn't even make them wrong. They are just different choices than I would make. Yet, I still love them and I'm not going to judge them - (we are required to compare our lives to Biblical standards, NEVER to judge...that's God's job). If they asked for my opinion, I would share it - but it doesn't change how I feel about them or how I see them. It hurt even more when I found out that others knew and had known for a long time - months, even years about this. I was crushed. Not because I wasn't the first to know - but because everyone knew and I didn't. It was like a big joke once I found out - people even laughed that I finally knew. That hurt so bad. But apparently they feel they can't share these things with me. How horrible. How sad. That my friends don't even feel they can be 100% honest with me. At some point I must have done or said something that makes them feel they can't share these things. The same friend who told me I needed to be real, is the same friend who said - "well we don't share things with you because you are so perfect". I'M NOT PERFECT! I'M NOT! But yet they felt like not telling me was okay. I'm a big girl folks - I deal with real life stuff every day. The last thing I need is for my friends to feel they can't be who they are in front of me - all of the time. They ask me to be real -yet, how am I supposed to be 100% real with struggles that I have when they aren't being real with every day things that they do. Some where along the way I've failed, and I'm not the friend I thought I was or tried to be. Seems it bit me in the butt for caring too much to take a stand, or encourage a friend to have a closer walk with God, a life without so much drama, or just simply to show that I cared no matter what they say or do.

As a woman I've failed - Women were created to be a helper to a man. Women were created to have children. Women were given the desires to be both of these things...at the time of my birth it was naturally given to me by God to have the desire to want to marry and have children. Yet it's a desire that God hasn't fulfilled - nor has he taken away. SO for those who say "maybe you are too focused on it", well you tell me how I can change a natural desire that I have...oh yeah, and I'm only going to listen if you know how I feel. Meaning you are either my age or older, are single and have no children. All the rest of you - well you don't understand! You don't get it and you never will. So for a moment - sit back and see what life is like for someone who desires so badly to have what you have - and can't get it, because God has said "NO." I'm now less than six months from my scary age of 35. I never in a million years would have thought at 35 I would be single and without a child. Since I was a little girl, all I dreamed about was being a wife and mother...and neither of those things have been given to me. I have no one in my life that could be a possible mate. The one relationship I did have in my life - he only wanted the benefits of having a girlfriend in private, but in public was too ashamed of me to tell his family or friends...and today people laugh about it and some don't even know it existed. And for those who are thinking it...no we did not have sex, and yes he was a Christian. For some reason God doesn't see fit for me to have this sort of love. And it hurts, it sucks! I'm not saying that I don't have love - I do...from my family and others around me. But I'm talking about the love of a husband. I know that God loves me - I know that...so I'm not talking about that type of love either. It just hurts to know that God didn't select me to be married. Before you start asking well where have you tried...I've tried everywhere - I've paid money to join Match.com and E-harmony, and how stewardly is that for months on end to pay $35+ for something that isn't working. I've tried everything...other than lowering my standards - God's standards. I could be like other young women that I know who want this so badly that they've settled for less than God's ideal or let the temptation of sex overtake them, only to find themselves pregnant outside of a marriage relationship. I could do those things - if I allowed myself to...but that's not what God's plan is for the life of His child. I'm not judging them - please don't get me wrong...I'm just saying, I've tried so hard to be faithful and to be patient...for 16 years I've waited, and tried to follow the design God has for marriage and children - yet nothing. Wow thanks! Thanks for noticing!! And what do I get as my reward...well let's see on May 21 - solely because I'm 35 - I will become high risk should I ever get pregnant. The likelihood of me getting pregnant decreases by several percentage points. The likelihood of me having a child with Downs Syndrome or another birth defects increases several percentage points. Then if those statistics aren't depressing enough - my risk of getting three different types of cancer increase several percentage points - solely because I've never had sex or had a child. WOW! What super benefits for being patient and waiting. Seems like your doomed if you and doomed if you don't. Don't get me wrong - I know God is powerful and he can/does provide healthy children to women over 35 and there are millions of single women who don't have cancer. I know this...but the reality of those statistics make me stop and ask WHY? I don't know - maybe God is saving me from heartache...but that heartache must be pretty big - because this heartache is almost too much for me to handle any more.

I know it doesn't sound like I'm applying the verses that I've learned since I was a in the toddler nursery. I've not forgotten them, or the truths of God's Word. But I'm being honesty here folks - and let's be honest - how many of us ALWAYS apply a Bible Verse instantly to a struggle we have. And isn't honesty about a situation what helps our hearts to heal to actually see where God is working and healing? Often times being honest - is being human, and that's how God made us - to be human. He never promised us a life filled with rainbows and unicorns...and sometimes we have to face the pain and hurt. In life we fail, all the time...and often we have the chance to fix it. I hope that some of my failures can be fixable, and those that can...I hope I can learn to live through them.

So there you have it...I'm being honest. Hopefully, I've not failed.

Cake Stand: Caramel Apple Cake

One of my most favorite fall treats is Caramel Apples! Oh they are so yummy, juicy and ooey-gooey!! I love the sweetness of the apple and caramel topped of with the salty crunch of pecans. Oh my mouth is watering just thinking about it!!

I'm not one to take something from its original form and put it in a non-traditional form or to change up a good thing...because very rarely does the "new" version taste like the original version. But I think this past weekend, I created something that will stand on it's own, and will be a new favorite of mine. It's rather time consuming, but the results are OH SO worth the end result. I made an Apple Cake (that I've made before) and topped it with a caramel sauce/icing (recipe I found in my favorite Wednesday reading - The Columbus Dispatch Food Section), then sprinkled with pecan pieces! Oh yes, it was/is as yummy as it sounds!! Below are the two recipes that I used to make this yumminess!

Note: You will need a Candy Thermometer to make the icing. These can be purchased at your local grocer or department store, if you don't have one.

Caramel Apple Cake

Apple Cake
6 tablespoons Butter (real butter, not margarine or fake butter)
2 cups White Sugar
2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp Nutmeg
1 tsp Cinnamon
2 tsp Baking Soda
2 tsp. Vanilla (real vanilla, not imitation)
1 tsp Salt
1 cup walnuts (I omitted this weekend, due to some in my family not liking nuts in their cake)
6 cups Chopped Apples (approx. 5 medium size apples)

Directions:
Cream butter and sugar together and beat in eggs one at a time. Add dry ingredients and mix well. (Note: it will look like you don't have much batter, don't worry the apples will increase the batter). Add apples and nuts, mix thoroughly. Bake in a greased 13x9 in. pan for 1 hour (check on it around 45-50 min.) at 350*.

(Source: Apple Treats from Amish Country)

Caramel Frosting
2 cups packed brown sugar (I used light brown sugar)
1 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons butter (real butter, not margarine or fake butter)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup chopped pecans (I used the pecan pieces, found in the baking aisle)

Directions:
In a saucepan over medium heat, stir the brown sugar and cream until the sugar dissolves. Cook without stirring until a candy thermometer registers 238 to 240*. Remove from heat. Stir in butter with a wooden spoon. Cool frosting to 110*.
Stir in vanilla. Beat frosting until thick and creamy. Mine was more of a mix between a sauce and a frosting, because I don't think I beat it long enough - but I'm not going to change it next time!
Spread frosting over a completely cooled cake. Sprinkle with pecans. Enjoy!

(Source: Columbus Dispatch, Food Section - original recipe Caramel Cake, September 2010)

*My completed cake sat for about 2 hours before serving, allowing the frosting to "set".

This cake is very sweet and rich - so you might want to "calm" the sweetness with Ice Cream (Vanilla or Cinnamon would be nice) or have coffee on hand for the coffee lover in your life.

Brownie Pan: Candy Bar Brownies

I heart brownies! I love that brownies can please children and adults a like, and that they have many variations!! Plus I'm a chocoholic!! Hi, my name's Meg - and I'm a chocoholic! :)

As those who follow know, I LOVE to make things from scratch - and when possible that's exactly what I do. Including cakes, brownies, bar treats, cookies, pies, etc. I get much more joy out of watching something come to life from nothing, rather than adding some oil, eggs and water to a pre-packaged mix. No offense to those that bake this way - I mean you gotta do what you gotta do!! :)

Last week, our church lost a very key leader and godly man. I've known this person since I was a small child, and his death was both sudden and shocking to our congregation. This man had many ministries in which he served, but that one closest to his heart was program called AWANA. Back in my day - the winner of each group would win a candy bar at the end of the evening. This was the goal - of course, this was well before we worried about things like child obesity (because we actually went outside and played) or trans fats. So when I called the lady who coordinates meals for families before a funeral, to see what I could do to help - she asked if I could make a pan of brownies! I was glad to do so. It didn't take me long to figure out the variation I was going to make...Candy Bar Brownies. I mean it made sense - most of my memories of this man revolved around AWANA, and as a child coming home with a candy bar on Tuesday evenings was the best way to end your day! These brownies have Snickers bars throughout the batter and Hershey pieces sprinkled on top. I like to have the pieces writing side up - so you can see "Hershey" on each piece. So I meticulously cut each piece to ensure I have even size pieces that say the entire "Hershey" word...okay so I'm a little OCD, about certain things! :) The brownies bake just long enough to start to melt the chocolate, but not long enough for the "writing" to disappear!

I've made these brownies before and most people who eat them really enjoy them...but this time, I seem to have made a batch that just had everyone talking - per a 13 year old boy who attended the dinner. I've had many ask for the recipe, since they ate them on Friday. So I figured, this is one I should probably share on my blog! Once you read the ingredients you will see why they taste so yummy - they are made with everything you shouldn't eat!

Candy Bar Brownies
3/4 cup butter, melted (I only use real butter, no margarine or fake butter)
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (I only use pure vanilla, no imitation)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup baking cocoa
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 Snickers Bars, (2.07 ounces each), cut into 1/4 inch pieces
3 plain milk chocolate candy bars (1.55 ounces) - chopped (I just cut along the edges of each Hershey stamped block)

Directions:
In a large bowl, combine the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla. In a small bowl, combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt; set aside 1/4 cup (of the dry ingredients). Stir remaining dry ingredients into the egg mixture until well combined. Toss Snickers pieces with the reserved flour mixture; stir into batter.

Transfer to a greased 13x9 baking pan. Sprinkle with milk chocolate candy pieces. Bake at 350* for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. (do not overbake). Cool on a wire rack. Chill before cutting. Enjoy!
(http://www.tasteofhome.com/)

An ice cold glass of milk or a cup of hot coffee compliment these "pieces of heaven on earth", very nicely!

Cookie Jar: Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies

When it comes to cookies I love everything about them! I love making them, the aroma that fills Villa de Megalicious as they bake, and of course I love eating them!! They are just little pieces of heaven here on earth! Cookies are so universal too - they are a nice treat to have by yourself and twice as nice to share, children love them and so do most adults! I can honestly say (in my deep voice)..."Yum, Yum, Yum - me love cookies!!" - can you tell that Cookie Monster was (okay still is) my favorite Sesame Street Puppet!

The recipe below is one of my (and so many others) favorites. They are very easy to make and the only time consuming part is waiting for them to cool - so you can put the filling on them and make the sandwich. They are great with tea - so I would assume they make a nice complement to a cup of coffee as well...I don't consume coffee, it stunts my growth!!!

Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies

Cookie Dough:
1 cup butter-flavored shortening
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Filling:
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
3 cups confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 to 6 tablespoons milk

Directions:
In a large bowl, cream the shortening, peanut butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition after each addition. Add vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; add to creamed mixture and mix well.

Shape into 1-in. balls and place 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten to 3/8-in. thickness with fork. Bake at 375* for 7-8 minutes or until golden. Remove to wire racks to cool.

For filling, in a large bowl, beat the peanut butter, confectioners' sugar, vanilla and enough milk to achieve spreading consistency. Spread on half of the cookies and top each with another cookie. Yield: 44 sandwich cookies.

(source: Taste of Home, Complete Guide to Baking)

Serve with an ice cold glass of milk, a cup of warm tea or steaming hot coffee - however you prefer the temperature of your drink, you will LOVE these cookies!

"What Would You Do?"...

Until this past Thursday at Small Group, I had never heard of this show...it looks like a show I would enjoy, and I do plan to watch it on a Friday evening when I'm home just relaxing. When I heard about the show I did some research on it - and I found this clip...one that hit home to me. This week I had two experiences in my own life that are similar to this clip.

I commute to work via the public bus system in C-bus. My commute is about 35-40 minutes long and it is during the hours when 90% of the passengers are "business" people - just trying to get to their jobs downtown or home to their families in the evening. But on occasion - more so in the evening - you will see a different type of person than that of the majority. They usually smell of body odor, alcohol, dirt, marijuana or a combination of these and other unpleasant aromas - their skin is dirty, their clothes are covered in dirt, stained or soiled, their hair often is not brushed - one might also wonder how long it's been since it was washed. One would not get close enough to experience the smell of the passengers breath - but you can tell when they smile that their teeth are in need of attention as well. It's not pleasant or appealing. I will admit that there have been times when I have to look away at what my eyes are beholding. Times when I myself have been uncomfortable, solely because of their presence on the bus. I often sit in the seat nearest the window, using the seat next to me for my purse and bag (both of which I wrap my arm through for safety purposes). This makes it possible for me to have the entire bench (2 seats) to myself - not to be selfish or appear to be above others, but room on the bus is limited and it's nice to have my own space. Once I'm settled in I take out a book or my Bible to read or my Blackberry to scroll through/send e-mails, check Facebook, or listen to my selections on Pandora. I'm in my own world - occasionally looking around the bus in between stops. At each stop I discretely peek over the top of my book or move my focus to the front door. I evaluate the status of seating options and the number of people getting on - and if necessary I (inside) moaningly move my purse and bag to my lap to allow another person to sit next to me - praying they aren't "weird" or smelly, and that they won't be on the bus for long - again, I just like to have my own space. For the record - to date I've only had to share my seat twice!

Rewind to Thursday - I had a nice spot near the back of the bus. I like the back of the bus because I can see the majority of the people on the bus - and I'm OCD about being able to see everyone around me whether I'm on the bus, sitting at a table enjoying dinner with friends, or finding my spot in my ADG class...I just like to see those around me. Thursday beheld a beautiful morning in Cbus - it was the first in a while that wasn't extremely hot or had hints at the threat of rain. During my brief time of being a bus commuter - I've learned that these types of a conditions generally mean the bus will attract more people, and on those days usually the bus is pretty full. More people want to get out of their homes and experience the beautiful day - handle any errands they may need to accomplish. Thursday was no different. The bus stopped at EVERY stop - along my 10 mile journey. Each stop had no less than 3 people getting on - so the bus was filling quickly. Occasionally a passenger or two would get off, as others boarded - but that didn't seem to be the norm so much on Thursday...as it is most mornings. As the bus pulls away from each stop a pleasant female computerized voice says "Next stop ______ & _____, followed by _______ & _____." The bus arrived at Broad & Glenwood Avenue. Broad & Glenwood is located in a very low income, somewhat high crime area of town. I forgot to mention that my bus ride takes me through this area - I mean it's not uncommon that the closer you get to any downtown area of any major city the neighborhood around the downtown is similar to the area I'm referring to. In Cbus this particular area is referred to as "The Bottoms", as it sets at the bottom of a hill. Back to the bus stop! I did my quick glance - one passenger getting on, no one getting off - but still ample seating, especially towards the front - no need to move my belongings! The passenger got on - by this point I was back to my book - and she slowly walked down the aisle. Usually the bus is somewhat noisy - the female voice telling you of the upcoming stops, the ding of the "STOP REQUESTED" button - which also has the same female voice saying "STOP REQUESTED", the loud ventilation system, the usual roar of a diesel type engine and sometimes the sound of people talking or children laughing. But not at this moment - at the moment the lady was moving through the bus the sound of nothingness filled the bus and to make it even more awkward the bus wasn't moving. Often if the bus is running ahead of schedule the driver will wait for a couple of moments to get back on track, but that wasn't the case that morning - I'm not really sure what the delay was a result of. As she walked down the aisle - I could see that she was not a "business" person. She had long stringy hair that was matted in some places while others were just strands of stringy, oily hair that was all pulled into a ponytail - that appeared to have been slept on. She was dirty - her clothes were dirty and they didn't' fit. She was pulling something - very slowly down the aisle and you could tell by the sound that it was off balance - walking past the open seats in the front and middle of the bus. I soon realized she was coming to the back - with very limited seating. The closer she got to me - I heard God saying, "Megan - move your stuff." "No!" "Megan move your stuff - they will know you are a Christian by your love, and today love means moving your stuff." "Fine, but I'm not happy about this God." I moved my stuff, but went quickly back to the book - not making eye contact with anyone...especially the slow boarding passenger. She passed my seat - and there in the corner of my eye I saw a large black suitcase - bulging with stuff. Zippers unzipped, clothes hanging out. "What in the world?" The bus was moving again by this point and she found her spot on a long bench behind me, but still in my line of peripheral vision. She sat down and gave out a deep breath - the aroma from her body filled the air. She then started unpacking everything - putting it on the bench next to her. She gave out a deep sigh and then announced that she was "just trying to leave". "Leave what?" I wondered. By this point I had read the same line several times, and was trying to look out of the corner of my eye, but not stare. I then realized that with all she was pulling out - this black suitcase probably contains all that belongs to her. A suitcase the size of one I would use to take on a week's vacation - contained all that belonged to her. The humbleness brick hit me hard in the head - and soon I was fiighting back tears. She continued saying it over and over again "I'm just trying to leave." She wouldn't answer when someone asked what she was leaving - but the evidence of her need to re-pack and the discombobulate appearance indicates that whatever she was leaving, she was leaving in a hurry, and getting to that spot on the bus was helping her leave. She quickly re-packed everything neatly into the suitcase - and the bus had arrived at Broad & High...where I get off the 32 window coupe (as my Dad calls it!). I put my book in my bag, stood up, straightened my skirt, picked up my belongs and headed for the door. Leaving the "departing" woman sitting on the bus. But the image of her hasn't left my mind - since I left her behind.

The departing lady had little compared to most of us on that bus. She was poor, when it came to the world's standards - who am I fooling, even my standards would say she was poor. She was unattractive to the world - to me. But as I sat on the bus listening to her speak and hurriedly re-pack her belongings, it soon hit me that to God she was another person that He loved, that may need to know of His love. I discarded her and didn't even want her to sit next to me for 10 min. Why? Because she smelled, or her hair wasn't just so - or because her clothing was stained. SHAME ON ME! How shallow of me - how horrible of me. I have never thought of myself as shallow or above others. But on Thursday - I had to do a perspective alignment - my heart that morning was just as cold to this woman as the sun was warm on the outside of the bus.

Fast Forward to Friday - It was a beautiful, warm Friday evening. I had managed to get everything crossed off my "to do" list at work and I was able to leave 5 min early to catch the 5:02! That was my goal! I made it just in time. I assumed my usual spot - and prayed very few stops would be made along the way...I was itching to start my weekend and get home! Friday, I parked at a different location than usual...but that just meant getting off the bus sooner and getting home even earlier! We made it to the Hilltop in what felt like record time. By 5:30, we had worked our way to the Westgate area, and I was off the bus heading to my bright blue Vibe! There was pep in my step. We don't have dress-down days on Friday - so there I was walking down Broad Street at 5:30 p.m. - cars were filling the street. I was wearing one of my very favorite shirts, with black dress pants and my oh so cute black peep-toe slingback 2 inch heels. I was just smiling - ready for the weekend to begin! Then all of a sudden I was wobbling, my balance had left me, and the concrete sidewalk was getting closer to my face. I tried to recover - but no luck. Thud - I heard it, I felt it. There I was...purse and bag on the ground, face just centimeters from the sidewalk, my twisted legs were under me, my knees and palms were burning from the smack of the hard ground. I looked up - I was horrified. I'm here on one of the busiest roads in town at one of the busiest times, and I'm lying on the ground with my bum in the air for all who pass by to see. I slowly re-grouped, grabbing items that had fallen out of my purse/bag and started getting up. A white SUV filled with passengers slowed down to see if I was alright. I gave them a nod and a half-hearted smile to say thanks! As I was standing I could feel the "impact" in my body - my ankles were throbbing from doing the twist in those 2 inch heels. I stood there for a moment to completely regroup. I looked at my pants - no holes, that was a positive! I looked at my hands and feet - no bleeding. I knew my knees were scrapped - but I wasn't going to give Broad St. a peek at those - they just saw my bum in the air. As I was walking away a lady quickly approached me - "Are you okay?" "Yes, just a little embarrassed" "Don't worry about that - I just wanted to make sure you were okay. My husband and I saw you getting up, and he told me to come help you." "No, I'm fine. But thanks for asking." She then went on into the hardware store and I hobbled away. The pep had left my step, and I was just trying to get away. When I got to my car, I put my belongings on the passenger seat, pulled up my pant leg and assessed my new boo-boo. My knee was banged up, but nothing major - and no blood! I thanked God that my "injuries" weren't any worse... I mean those shoes alone could have caused a serious injury. I got into my car, turned on the AC, turned up the radio and proceeded home! Still kind of fuzzy about what had just happened.

As I pulled away - I couldn't help but believe, that two complete strangers would stop to make sure that I was okay. They could have looked at me through the corner of their eye continuing on with their business, or even just looking away from the situation. I again was humbled - this time I was the "different" person. I was the unattractive person lying on the sidewalk. But God used a small rock in the sidewalk to teach me a lesson, and to bring me literally flat on my face. I, like the departing lady, was just trying to get away - even though away was to the start of my weekend, I was heading somewhere. And along the way I had a minor delay - mine wasn't a slow suitcase with a busted wheel that was bulging with my belongings, rather a rock that I stepped on and landing me on the ground. I'm sure just like me, as I was lying the ground with my belongings scattered on the sidewalk - she too was embarrassed to have all of her belongings scattered on the seat next to her for the entire back portion of the bus to see. However, unlike her those around me stopped to make sure I was okay. That I didn't need help. But the departing lady - wasn't as fortunate. Instead she was judged, discarded and who knows what else happened in the minds of others on the bus. How heartbreaking! How could I be that person - I always strive to see others with Christ's eyes - eyes of compassion, that see those around me as needing a Savior and experiencing His Love & Forgiveness. Yet, that morning I looked away. How shameful of me. While I've confessed this sin to God and he has forgiven me - may I never forget the picture of the departing lady. May it never be too far back in my memory bank - may I always remember the departing lady, and may I always attempt to see those around me with Christ's eyes.

"What Would You Do?"